Hard Work, Motivation and A Few Tears: The Power of Perseverance

Chapter 1

This year I learned what it means to be hardworking, what it means to do work, and most importantly, what it means to be recognized by my teachers for such work. Generally speaking, I am a good student who possesses a high standard of work and work ethic. To others, it may appear as if all of this work is easy, effortless and carefree. But it isn't as easy as it looks.

In grade 11, I was not pleased with my marks. In functions I got a 60%, In exercise science I got a 73%. In biology I got a 74%. And in english, my highest mark, I received an 82%. By no means were these bad marks, I just knew that I could do better. Why? Because none of these marks made me feel proud or like I accomplished something. Instead they left a bitter after taste in my mouth, one that I wanted to get rid of.

So this year, I did that very thing. I got rid of the unpleasing marks and I went on a journey to change myself as a student. This year, it was as if something flicked a switch that turned on the gears that ignited my motivation. But what was that very thing?

That very thing was first semester parent-teacher interviews. Although it was not the only thing, it was one of the biggest events that would lead to me becoming the student I am today. There was something very different about this years interviews. After going around to each teacher in the crowded cafeteria, I found that they had all said similar things about me.

"Don't get me wrong Aster's doing really well, but the thing is...she just has so much more potential."

"See, Aster, she's doing well, but I know that she can be doing even better,"

"She just needs to put a little bit more effort it."

"She just needs to try a little harder."

"I see the potential."

"I know she can do it."

"I've seen a big improvement since the last time I taught her, but..."

I really believe that it was the last comment that hit home. After hearing all of my teachers talk about what I could be doing, if I just put a little bit more effort in, I began to question myself. To question my motivation and my work ethic. In those moments I though to myself, Why not just try a little bit harder and give it a better shot? See if it makes a difference. After all, if my teachers are telling me all these things, they surely must be true. Maybe all this time I've just been underestimating my potential as a student. Maybe I could be one of the students that I once looked up to.

For me, parent-teacher interviews was the moment where everything shifted in my life and begun to change drastically. It seemed like all that I really needed was a little bit of self-realization and constructive criticism from my teachers. With that, I could set myself on the right track to achieve. I just needed to try. So that's exactly what I did, I put my all into every assignment I handed in.

Flash forward to December 31st 2014. The day I had pushed myself too far. The day that I put too much pressure on myself. I constantly overthink, and over worry about just about everything, even things that are completely out of my control. Like a wasp, it stung me. I was too focused on too many things, and I was worrying about far too much.

That day I shut down like I had never shut down before. Tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. I couldn't stop them. I was a mess. I was stressed. I was tired. I needed a break. Trying to stay on top of everything, had proven to be a much more difficult task than I had ever though possible. The stress of the past few months had consumed me without me even realizing. For so long I had been pushing through, looking forward to my Christmas break where I thought I would finally be able to relax. But I wasn't, as I had the weight of three culminating projects holding me back.

How would I describe how I felt in that time? I felt like a chicken with its head cut off, running frantically in search of something that I was unable to find. I was trying to figure out what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and which order to do it in. I was scared, I was worried. I thought I was going to fail. I've always had a fear of failure, failing to meet goals that I set out. And this time I feared that I would work myself out for nothing.

At the time, my biggest fear was that the goals I had set for myself were unachievable. The reason for this failure is set in a record, one that i've seen far too many times during my high school career. The post culminating and exam marks plummet. The 60% on exams that I had seen far too often. It was far too familiar, and I was scared. Over the years, I had just come to accept it. Looking back, that probably wasn't a good mind set to have.

But I knew I couldn't allow this to happen. This year mattered too much. These marks mattered too much. But that didn't stop my anxious tendencies from catching me off guard, causing me to fear what felt like oblivion. Anxiety had held me back in the past. But I knew that I couldn't let it hold me back any longer. Even if I still feared what I thought seemed impending. That thing being I feared I wouldn't make my parents or my teachers proud. I feared the "Aster, you did well...but I was expecting more from you" line.

So I persevered and I put my all into school and my academic career. In the end I achieved many of the goals that I had set, and even for the ones I did not achieve, I was only millimetres away from them. Today when I think back to that time, I don't feel silly or naive. I feel proud and astonished that I was able to persevere and make my dreams into my reality. Not only have I pleased myself immensely with my efforts, but I've also made my parents and teachers proud. Most importantly, I think I've finally begun to discover myself as a student. But I've also learned that hard work really does pay off. This will be an important lesson for me to take away from high school and apply to my future as I enter University this September, where I will be faced with a multitude of problems much like the ones I faced in high school, only much harder.