A Unified Life

Part 1

"Happiness and death are two inseparable brothers ."

The light was so bright that I could even see the grains of dust flying in the room while watching myself in the giant-legged size mirror standing in front of the wall. I have a wedding dress with pearl grains shining on it, and I have a pink flower bouquet in my hand. I did not choose these flowers. If I had chosen, I would have preferred a black rose. Someone had chosen them for me, but who could it be? Of course, it is Neslihan, she chose it because she thought that there was no place for black color in the extremely white night.

I look around me. The room is shining brightly. I raise my arms to my sides and turn around myself. This feeling tells me that my dreams have come true. The door of the room is embroidered with gold leaf, it looks very beautiful. I will walk out that door shortly after and people are going to applaud me. I took a few steps closer to the door. Neslihan opens the door from the outside, I see the outside through the gap. It's too crowded, my heart is starting to beat faster. Neslihan enters the room, by putting her back to the door, closes and locks the door without letting anyone in. "Aren't we going out?" I ask. "Oh come on, dear bride, there's still time, don't be in a hurry." She takes my arm and takes me to the mirror. "Ömür, finally, you have finally succeeded. You've come to the end, look in the mirror." he lifts my veil and kisses me on the forehead. I'm watching myself in the mirror. I look so beautiful, everything is flawless. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I have to remember this moment, I tried so hard, but I finally got the life I desired. I'm opening my eyes to see myself one more time. My eyes are full of tears. "Don't cry, don't cry Ömür, or your happiness will disappear." Neslihan said. My eyes are full of tears, but I am happy. I turned to Neslihan and said, "Neslihan; 'brides both cry and go,' and I both cry and go." then, when the tears started to flow from my eyes, Neslihan started crying and said, "You cried for life, you're back to square one!".

The light that surrounded the room has disappeared. It was as if the sun had gone out outside, a storm had come out and polluted the white tulle. The door... When I came back to the door, there was a door made of rotten boards in place of that magnificent door. When I turned to her by telling "Neslihan, What's going on?", she showed me in the mirror and said: "How many times is this, Ömür? Do you remember going back to the beginning because you were crying when it came to the end?" she asked. I don't remember because I'm having this moment for the first time. But the pearls of my wedding dress are spilled, I have mud stains all over me, the flowers in the bouquet are black. Yes, these are the flowers that I chose. I'm crying, blood is flowing from my eyes, flowing blood is dripping from my cheeks onto my black flowers. Wait; it's not the blood, it's the red acid burning the flowers. I throw the bouquet away, I start running towards the door, Neslihan shouts after me: "Do not go, that darkness is your darkness, there is no end!" All I want is to get out of this room. I open the door, people put off the lights and gone. Anyway, I have to get out of the room, I'm running into the dark with all my strength. I'm running in the dark, I'm not actually running, I'm falling. Every step accelerates my fall. I want to stop, my feet don't stop. I look behind me, the dim light of the room is getting farther and farther away, it is crumbling as it goes away, it will disappear! I have to go back! I can't go back. I fall down, I can't control my legs and I run into the darkness. I can't see the light, I can't stop, I'm running.

Ring, Ring...Ring, Ring...Ring, Ring...

I remember having the same dream over and over again in my dream. But I know that when I wake up, I always wake up with the same result on the same stage.

Ring, Ring...Ring, Ring...Ring, Ring...

I pick up the phone, I'm going to turn off the alarm. I jump out of bed with the text on the screen.

"I have a flight to London at six o'clock."