What's our fault?

Blue eyes

*Beeb beeb*
Here comes another morning, another day... But this time it hits different. This morning it's different. This is the last morning I'm gonna spend in my home, in my bed. Today I'm getting married...yeyy. It's evry woman's dream to get married, to wear the white dress, to walk down the aisle where the love of their life is waiting for them so I should be happy too right? If only that was the case. I've always planned everything in my life but one unexpected thing can ruin it all. It took one moment for us to break. Getting ready for the wedding, I feel nothing. Neither love, nor hate, just self pity for letting others take control of my life, but what's the point of that now that everything is done. Anyway let me introduce myself first. I'm Alaia Knight 19 years old but feeling like 49 with everything going on. I've brown straight hair, green eyes, big lips, small nose, good facial harmony, petite but curvy body where needed. As for my family I can say that I grew up in a big family with my grandparents, parents and seven brothers (shocking I know). Being the only girl had its pros and cons. Everyone loved and spoiled me, especially my brothers. It was as if I were the apple of their eyes. I have always had a very good relationship with my family. Everything we had, every problem we shared together. We used to complain and fight with each other but in the end we didn't hold grudges. At the end of the day we all gathered around the table and had dinner together. But today they can't even see me in the eyes. It's like they're ashamed of me. They arranged me a marriage so they could get rid of this burden, so they can get rid of me. Even I can't understand how we came in this situation but all I know is where it started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~9 years ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am outside my school waiting for my oldest brother Don to get me home. It's cold and my jacket is not helping much. On the other side of the road I see a handsome boy around the same age as me looking at me. He comes my way and hands me his jacket. "Here take it." He said smiling softly. I want to take it so bad cause I'm freezing but I can't. I can't even be seen near him let alone have a conversation with him. Weird right? Well not in this small city I live in. Here everyone has something to say for anything. Girls can't talk to boys not related to them, they can't wear exposed clothing, they don't have a say in family matters, they can't work, can't choose who to marry, can't divorce and have to endure whatever their husbands serve them otherwise they are called names. The shame of the community. Thank God my family was not like this. Well they didn't want me to talk to boys outside our family and they wouldn't let me wear exposing clothes but I always had a say in things. They would ask for my opinion and they never forced me to do things I didn't want. But people can't live without getting into other people's business. They didn't care that I was only a ten year old kid with big dreams. My mom always told me that they act like this cause they had they dreams cut off when they're kids too and that I shouldn't listen to them, that I should pursue my dreams and that my family will always support me. Such big problems for a kid. "You're freezing, take it" his words brought me back to reality. "I'm fine, thank you". "It doesn't seem so" he said insisting. He threw his jacket over my shoulder, the feeling of warmth took over my body. "I'm Landon by the way. You?" Landon, what a beautiful name. "I'm Alaia". I was feeling weird but in a good way that I don't understand. He was talking but I wasn't hearing anything. I was focused on his gorgeous blue eyes like my life depended on them. He is so handsome. Wait what? Alaia get yourself together girl, you are too little for those things. "Ehmmm earth to Alaia. You still there?" he said. Oh no did he caught me staring? I feel my face turn red from embarrassment meanwhile he just laughs. Minutes passes and we found ourselves bonding. It was like we knew each other for so long yet it felt like seconds.
*beeeeeeeeeeeep* the honk of a car cut our conversation off. I turn my head and I see my brother Don. Ohoh he was not looking happy. I quickly said bye to Landon and run towards the car.
"Alaia, wh-" "I'm sorry brother please don't tell anyone. I promise I won't do that again."
"You know I won't. I just don't want you to give others a reason to talk shit about you. You know how people are in this small city." See thats my brother , the one who I could tell everything that I've done and he won't tell a soul. It feels good having a relationship like this with your brother especially when others don't even see theirs in the eye. Stupid mentality. And before you ask no this isn't any law or anything. Its just how our small traditional city works. It was the people who wanted this life. At first I thought thats how the world works but boy was I wrong. I remember the first time when I went to our neighbour city and it was like i was going to a different country. People didn't give a shit about mentality and I loved it. Why can't people understand that they can't shape our lives? Arghh I need to stop with those thinking cause i can feel my anger raise.
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It was nighttime now and I found myself thinking about those beautiful blue eyes. Is it possible that I have a crush on him. But i just meet him, I don't even know him. Uffff Alaia stop you just feel this way because he gave you attention and trated you well. Yes that should be it. But I've never lacked attention neither home nor school. I mean living with all these man around who worried about me for even the little things made me feel precious. Then what is it? Just because he gave you his jacket...... o no no no i brought his jacket home with me. What if they see it where do i put it ? I ended up hiding it somewhere in my closet. I think i need to chill , it's probably just a crush. Nothing can happen from that. Its not like I'll fall in love right? I' m way too young for these things.

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Author's note
Hey guys I'm new here. Please show some support! ☺️ Keep in mind that English is not my first language so there may be mistakes .
Hope you like it.