The Art of Failing Up

Redefining Success

Success is a concept that we are often taught to view in a specific light: it’s about achievements, recognition, and accolades. From an early age, we are conditioned to measure success by the grades we earn, the trophies we collect, and the societal standards we are expected to meet. However, as we journey through life, we often encounter moments that challenge these conventional definitions, forcing us to reconsider what success truly means. It’s during these moments of reflection, growth, and even failure, that we begin to understand that success is not a one-size-fits-all formula—it is deeply personal and ever-evolving.

For much of my academic life, success was defined by external markers. I was obsessed with making the dean’s list, securing scholarships, and meeting the expectations of my professors and peers. I believed that being at the top of my class, excelling in every exam, and achieving perfection would bring me the validation and fulfillment I craved. But when I faced my first major setback—failing an exam despite my best efforts—I was forced to confront the reality that success could not be defined solely by grades or academic recognition. I began to question everything: What did success really mean to me? Was it about being the best, or was there a deeper, more meaningful definition?

As I reflected on my own experiences, I realized that my traditional understanding of success was rooted in comparison—constantly measuring myself against others. I had been chasing an idealized version of success, one that was not only unsustainable but also disconnected from my true desires. I wanted to be on top, to excel, and to prove my worth to others. But this definition of success left me feeling empty and unfulfilled, as if I were constantly running a race with no finish line in sight.

The process of redefining success was not immediate. It took time, self-reflection, and the courage to let go of societal expectations. Slowly, I began to understand that success was not about meeting external benchmarks but about aligning my goals with my values. I realized that true success is not about competing with others but about competing with myself—striving to be better today than I was yesterday, learning from my mistakes, and finding fulfillment in my own progress, however small.

This shift in perspective was liberating. I started to define success by my growth and well-being, not by the number of accolades I could collect. I began to appreciate the journey rather than fixating on the destination. Success, in this new light, was about living authentically, pursuing passions that brought me joy, and cultivating resilience in the face of setbacks. It was about finding balance between my ambitions and my mental health, acknowledging that success doesn’t mean perfection, but progress.

Others have similarly redefined success in their own unique ways. Some have moved away from the traditional career-driven definition of success to embrace a more holistic view of fulfillment. They have come to understand that success isn’t just about climbing the corporate ladder or earning a six-figure salary. For some, success is about creating a life that prioritizes their values—whether that means cultivating meaningful relationships, contributing to a cause they care about, or living a life that aligns with their passions and interests.

Take, for instance, the story of a friend who had always dreamed of becoming a doctor. After years of studying and working toward that goal, she found herself burnt out, unhappy, and questioning whether the career path she had pursued was truly fulfilling. She took a step back, reevaluated her life, and realized that success for her wasn’t about the title or prestige that came with being a doctor. It was about making a difference in the world and finding personal fulfillment. She decided to leave medical school and pursue a career in public health, where she could directly impact her community and live in alignment with her values. For her, success was no longer defined by the societal ideal of being a doctor, but by the ability to make a meaningful impact in the way that resonated most with her.

Another example is of someone who realized that success wasn’t about earning accolades in a competitive academic environment but about fostering a deep connection with their creative passions. They had spent years pursuing an engineering degree, but after facing constant burnout and dissatisfaction, they realized that their true passion lay in writing and art. Leaving behind the expectations of their family and the pressure to live up to a specific career path, they embraced the uncertainty of pursuing a creative career. For them, success was about being true to their passion, regardless of whether it fit society’s definition of achievement.

These stories highlight the importance of letting go of societal standards and embracing a definition of success that is true to oneself. Redefining success is not about rejecting hard work or ambition; it is about realizing that success doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Success can be found in living authentically, in finding purpose and meaning in the work we do, and in creating a life that brings us fulfillment, happiness, and peace of mind.

Redefining success also means letting go of the idea of perfection. We live in a world that often celebrates flawless achievements, but this pursuit of perfection can leave us feeling inadequate and unworthy. Success doesn’t require perfection—it requires progress. It’s about learning from failures, picking ourselves up after each setback, and continuing to move forward, even when things don’t go according to plan. It’s about being kind to ourselves, acknowledging our efforts, and celebrating the small wins that often go unnoticed.

As I continue to grow and evolve, I find that my definition of success is always shifting. It’s not something fixed or rigid—it is fluid and adaptive to my changing needs, desires, and experiences. What I once thought would bring me fulfillment might not be what I value now, and that’s okay. Success is not about meeting external expectations; it’s about finding inner satisfaction and peace, knowing that we are living in alignment with our deepest values.

True success is not defined by titles, accolades, or comparisons. It is defined by the way we live our lives and the choices we make. It is found in the moments of growth, the lessons learned from failure, and the courage to follow our own path, no matter how unconventional it may seem.

Success is not a destination, but a journey—a journey of discovering who we truly are and living in alignment with our authentic selves.