To be a better person you have to learn one thing.
Don't let people step on you.
I knew that and I understood that but still I met a man and soon understood why people say that and why you shouldn't let them step on you.
We had are good moments every relationship does but as time went on he started to lose it.
At first it was good we got a apartment together moved in and keep it clean.but soon Adam started to get aggressive more. Picking fights over nothing leaving me crying wishing it could all go away and be good again
But it still when on and on the same thing every day
Before he got home I would clean the house spotless. Sweeped mopped you name i did it all
But as he got home he whouldnt notice.
Of course he was drunk and not thinking about anything but a nother beer he could grab
But I knew better to keep the beer in the fridge for him everytime he would open the fridge the light would flash being able to see the beer that looked right back at him
So he grab a beer and would go crash on the couch like all nights he whould come home from work
I used to ask him questions when he got home with a big smile on my face ready for his answer and maybe to see him smile back at me with those beautiful teeth and that smile I loved so much since the day we ment.
Till the time he back handed me for the first time. After I tried to say something again to him thinking he didn't hear me.
I cried out as I hit the floor hitting a glass that fell and and shattered with me. "why whould you ask me questions I just got home women!" he shouted as he slurred his words smelling the awful smell of cheap achol.
Me looking dumb founded in shock of the man I loved with all my heart had did it again. I got up and brushed off holding back tears of heartbreak and sorrow.
But by morning he was back to his self.as he would roll over and give me a sweet kiss and he tell me good morning
my loving sweet delightful man was back from being the monster he was at night.the man I want for the rest of my life. But before night fell again he would always go for hours to go and be that monster I got to see every night .
I wanted him to get help and the be saved.but as I spoke about it he would shout and scream that he's ok and he's not the devil I tell him he is at night.
Till he would take the day shift at work and still came home drunk smelling like evil and watered down achol
I hated the smell he would bring to the house. The evil stench of sin and cheap clubs.
I'd try and beg him to be better to save him self before it was to late.
"Please darlin I love you please" I say gulping down tears trying to keep them to myself but
He'd just look at me with those beautiful dark brown eyes that I loved to get lost in every moment I was with him.
Then he would walk away like I was nothing to him.like I was air to him.
I missed the day when we ment. first he was shy and unexperienced but so was I . We loved to go on dates ,and,walks and even watch movies and when the world became dark and the drugs and lights came up we would come home to my apartment and we would make love every time.
Beautiful passionate love.
The first time we had sex was amazing like everyone's first time experiencing and exploring a new person in every way.
And when we were done he would roll over and tell me "I love you Anna thank you for everything" in a whisper only I can hear.i can still feel his sweet smile on my neck that still give me tingles down my back.
But of course as time went by like everything did are sex life was gone just like everything else.
But when we would do it wouldn't be sweet and kind it was rough and mean and distant mean every girl would like that right? Yea being able to fuck someone as rough and have no other contact with them.
Complete strangers and even that gave more silence to are everything.
Well to my everything I had left.
i didn't talk to my parents really anymore and didn't have many friends to talk to about anything.
Honestly I didn't want anyone to know about me and Adam and are marriage falling apart.
And at times we would scream and cry about are problems.
"Why can't you just get better for me for us?!"I scream at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my rosy face."why can't we just be happy?!"adam yells getting louder and colder with his words.
I stop in my tracks looking at him with shock."you did this to us.you picked the monster over me" I say trying to walk to the door with him blocking it.
"Hey we're not done here"he says grabbing my hand then my waist trying to keep me from leaving the room.
"Fucking let go of me" I say gritting my teeth trying to get to the door knob.
"Hey,hey we aren't done yet though"he says pulling my waist forcing me to let go of the door knob spinning me around to face him with are chest together. I look up at him and see those big brown eyes.but they were darker full of lust and desire like the days when we first met.
"Look I know everything isn't what you wanted.but I want you Anna please"he says in a whisper only I can here like when we first started at the beginning.
"Yes Adam"I say holding he knows what that meant but he soon did.
He lifted me up and threw me on the bed.
Feeling his sweet lips on my again felt like heaven.
He smelled so sweetly like the cologne I always bought him when I went out.
"I'm gonna take my time ok baby?" He said smiling with a evil smile knowing what he was about to do to me.
"Ok do what you please"I said but I always say cause I knew I was safe and and I knew he wouldn't hurt me.
"Ok baby get up ok?"he says getting off of me.
Looking puzzled I do so of course.
But before I knew it he was on the bed begging me to come over
I walk slowly getting more excited with every step.
"Those panties need to come off darlin"he said smiling at me
I of course do his request and slowly I take them off.
"Now get on top of my face baby" he said basically panting sounding so so ready for something more.
"I'm not gonna hurt you am-"before I could finish my sentence
I wake up.
To of course no other then Adam fucking screaming.
