The Girl Next Door • Carl Grimes

Chapter 83: Doctor, Doctor

Grace

I was walking around the neighborhood with Carl when I saw Denise exiting the gates with Daryl and Rosita. We were going on a walk with Judith in her stroller, it was a sunny morning and we figured that she could benefit from the sun and fresh air.

The previous day I'd been talking to Denise about my burn. She said that it was healing well. She thought that if she could get her hands on this certain type of ointment that it could be really helpful for me and other people if something like that happened again. I guess that's why she was leaving with Daryl and Rosita, maybe she knew where to find stuff.

"Bye guys! Bye Denise!" I shouted and waved to them as the gate opened.

"The only doctor we have is going out on a run? That doesn't seem like a great idea. Has she ever even been outside these walls before?" Carl raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think she has. It's okay though, Beth is taking over the infirmary today." I explained.

"And what are we assigned to do today? Other than watching Judith." Carl said.

"Well Maggie clearly doesn't want us to work together today because she said you and me need to take turns with Judith. She doesn't think Judith she needs two people to watch over her. She says that our efforts will be best spent towards Alexandria." I imitated what Maggie had told me earlier.

"Do you think she knows? Maybe she's mad or something." Carl looked worried.

"No, I don't think so. She won't tell me what happened with the saviors, but I think it wasn't great. I think she's worried about it and wants to keep Alexandria as safe as possible. I don't really blame her, do you?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"No, I don't. I just wish we could make it safe together." Carl was disappointed, I could tell.

"There's plenty of time for that. I'll start on the shift that Maggie has for us. You should watch Judith. She likes you better than me." I laughed.

"She'd like you more if you spent more time with her." Carl shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not good with babies. They intimidate me." I felt anxious.

The truth was that I'd always liked babies before the world ended. I couldn't wait to grow up and have my own, I loved babysitting the neighborhood kids whenever I could. It's just that after what happened to Lori, babies scared me. I loved Judith. I truly did, but being around her hurt me. She reminded me too much of Lori and how I never got to say goodbye.

"Babies intimidate you? She's so small." Carl started to laugh.

"I'm gonna go bring some wood over to the walls. Bye." I replied shortly as I speed walked away.

I know that I'd been talking about my future and the possibility of kids with Carl just a few days prior. But that was a dream, an idea of what life would be if we were truly safe. The problem was that we weren't truly safe. I found myself feeling worried for Judith every single day and she wasn't even mine. Everybody loved her too much, I didn't want to ever feel responsible for her. It scared me.

Carl wouldn't understand. I couldn't tell him that his baby sister made me feel sad that his mom was dead. I tried to shake the thoughts from my head and just get to work. That's what would be best for everyone. I carried wood back and forth for a few hours. I was lucky that it wasn't too hot out because if it were, I'd be sweating a lot.

***

"Grace, you've been doing this for a while. You should take a break." Carl said as he walked up behind me, holding Judith.