For The Apartment We Will Share (Epistolary)

99

[Letter along with a stem of tulips]

The last few weeks we're counting down, I want to make you feel loved in all of the possible ways I can. I thought maybe a writer like you wanted to be written about, too. This is one of my attempts at writing for you.

I want to start by confessing how beautiful you look when you're crying at 4 am in the park. Your sobs are cute. Your morning hair is cute. Your squinting eyes from my headlight are cute. I've never seen myself smile just because I saw a cute stranger. That's a bit weird that I asked Louis if it's normal. Dito nagsimula ipagkalat ni Louis that someone is making me 'restless'.

I asked him a lot of stupid things. Is it normal to talk casually to your neighbour? Is it okay if I give coffee to someone randomly? Is it rude if I'm just ignoring her sometimes? Is it okay to cook her dinner? Is it not too fast if we stay in my apartment for too long?

He would just ridiculously look at me and say, "You're scaring me."

I was scared for myself too. Noong dinala kita sa Hospital and I saw you interact with them, I thought I should sort what I feel kasi pati sila Eula nagdududa na sakin noong sinabi kong kapitbahay lang kita. Pati ako nagduda na sa sarili ko. Kahit ako hindi na naniwala na kapitbahay nga lang talaga kita.