Cause and effect

Chapter 3-New Changes

The car ride to grandmas house was silent we were both sad about mom and worried about trial but despite my mom passing away I felt free, maybe it's selfish to feel any relief or joy but I couldn't help it I no longer had to live with my abusive parents or go hungry when my mom was to high to notice the fridge was empty. I'll miss my mom very much no matter how hard it was to be around her at times. Because at the end of the day I lost my mother and I'll never see her again.

-Granny, sweetheart I know you're upset and worried but I'm here for you honey, we're all we got for now, and I know change can be hard and your mom...but imma protect you with my life I promise, i love you Ashlyn.-Ashlyn, I know you will grandma and I love you to I just wish I knew how to help mom she shouldn't be dead rn she should be here and my dad I wish he would have just stayed home and be a family with us but all he cared for was the bar.-Grandma, this is sudden and you've been through a lot these couple mouths but you have to tell the police what you dad did to you.-Ashlyn, would they even believe me and if they did what's gonna happen to me can you promise me I'll be able to stay with you I can't go back to him.-Granny, the judge will believe you and that man will not ever touch you again I promise. You will be with me for as long as you want.

At my grandma house she showed my my new room it had a bed tv and a dresser I was so thankful to be with my grandma and I felt like I could finna breathe I wasn't scared to mess up around her or worried my grandma would yell at me.-Granny, how are you feeling baby.-Ashlyn, I'm ok just tired.-Grandma, it's the weekend so we don't have to stress about school till Monday and we can enroll you here.-Ashlyn, when would I have to talk to the police.-Grandma, well it will be a officer and a social worker that will go over your statement with you, because I did report him and told them about your situation that's why they agreed to let you stay with me, But they told me that they would come over tomorrow at noon. Do you know what you're going to say.

-Ashlyn, not exactly grandma but I know that I need to do this. For so long I didn't know that he wasn't my dad and even when he was pretending he was he still hurt me and touched me and I can't let him walk free and get away with doing this to me.-grandma, I would have never let you live there if I had known baby I am so sorry and I am so proud of you, you're such a brave and beautiful little girl and no kid should ever life through what you have, I know you'll be safe where and I'll make sure you stay and school and have all you need, I'll let you get some sleep darling I love you.-Ashlyn, I love you to.

It was around 8:20pm by then we stopped and ate otw home so I was ready to sleep but my mind wasn't. I cried when my mom died but I never mentally excaped the reality of my life till now to process and grieve about what's happened to me and my mother. I was up most the night crying and thinking was this all my fault, did I let him hurt me, did my mom kill herself because of me, did she yell for me in her last breaths and I just couldn't hear her, was my dad punishing me for not being really his, was god teaching me a lesson, is this fate? I'll never know my moms side of why she overdosed or what she really thought about me but I had a chance to stand face to face the the man that called himself my dad and ask him why he hurt me so much and caused our family so much pain in the end and I intend to have answers.

The next morning I woke up to the smell on pancakes and eggs in my dresser, and I heard people talking in the living room area. But I didn't want my breakfast to get cold so I listened at the door and ate my food before I walked into the room and I sat by my grandma.-Granny, good morning baby how did you sleep.-Ashlyn, not the best, the bed was great I just couldn't stop thinking about everything.-Grandma, I'm sorry sweetie. My grandma tested up and kissed my head.-Marissa, hi Ashlyn my names Marissa Harris I'm here to hear your statement and just talk to you about what you want going forward.-Ashlyn, I'm Ashlyn and can I have my grandma here as we talk she just makes me feel more comfortable.-Marissa, yes Jonny of course you can, just take your time and I know this is weird  but I have to record your conversation on tape for ur case, but no one will hear it but me and the officer assigned to your case unless you say otherwise.

-Ashlyn,no that's ok. I looked at my grandma and the tape recorder and I took a deep breath. -Ashlyn, from as far as I can remember my mom and dad have always loved me and been there for me, we weren't rich but we had all we needed my mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked at a factory. But my dad developed a drinking habit after he got fired and replaced by another employee. He wasn't mean to me but he was to my mother, blaming her for never having a job to help out and saying that my mom was ashamed of him. And on my 10th birthday they got into a heated argument about my dad not having a job still and wanting to go to the bar instead of my birthday party. and that's when my mom told my dad I wasn't his and that she cheated on him before there were married and my dad felt like there whole Marriage was a lie and he left.

But he became a different person that night and so did my mother, my dad starting choking me in bed and pulling hair he raped me with no remorse yelling at me that I'm just a product of a slut, and that I'm the reason he can't be happy with my mother. My mom at first would smoke and maybe drink here and there but over the next few months she did drugs heavy until she finally overdosed. and I don't know what I would do without my grandma. School was my only escape from my home and I didn't tell my grandma until 4 days again about the situation I didn't wanna bother her, I thought i could save our family but I just couldn't and now I have to live with these last memories of what used to be my perfect childhood that had turned into a nightmare. and it's all because my mom was unfaithful and my dads a bum drunk.

I didn't notice because I was just staring at the recorder talk but my grandma and Marissa was in tears crying,I didn't realize how much my life could hurt the people around me it made me feel terrible I didn't ask for any of this all I wanted was to things to go back to normal again but now my whole life was changed. Then Marissa grabbed me by the hand and told me something I would never forget.-Marissa, you have been through so much sweetheart and I need you to know that you are not the problem and this is not your fault all this that happened wasn't what you were made for and it's not what you will be know for you are a strong little girl and you are so brave to speak up and tell me everything and I will get you justice.-Grandma,"crying" absolutely baby and him hurting you don't make you worthless at all or dirty. you are beautiful and those awful things he said to you are nothing but lies from the demon inside him and you are none of them things. All I could do in that moment was cry and hug my grandma and Marissa joined in on the hug and I felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulder I felt heard for the first time in a long time and that's all I needed to have the confidence to go threw with this trial strong and ready to get justice for myself.