Have you ever thought that you weren't worth receiving love that everything you've ever done it's like you've never done anything, that you're worthless
Well if you ever felt that way, let me tell you my story
Hi, I'm Neyssa I'm 13 years old and I lived in Haiti
I left my country months ago, my whole life, i've been doing everything I could to make my parent proud always studying having good grades everything I could, but it wasn't enough. I have a little sister and I hate her but I also love her it's complicated
My parents always compared me to other talented kids sometimes it hurts so much that I want to die
I've always wanted to do so .... dying
But my idols like BTS or BLACKPINK give me hopes but its not always enough
When I came to the USA i thought that my life would have been better indeed it wasn't .
I left my sister and father in Haiti my friend everyone, I wanted a new start but I guess I was born to suffer
I lived with my aunt she was the one who helped us enter the country
and her husband a demon he's evil he always making us feel bad like we weren't supposed to come, My aunt has 5 childrens my mom and I were taking care of them it was so hard they don't listen, they always making a mess, were were like maids
My mom always ask my aunt to put me in school but she wouldn't saying that it's not easy we gotta pass through a lot of process and blah,Blah,blah
But she finally did , although she doesn't work were we live and works in another city and there was no place for me on the bus and my aunty's husband had a broken car I mean for real, like other stinks , but I didnt lose hope I still wanted to learn and do my best.
I made some friends but I was a little too shy so I couldn't really talk to them I didn't want to make mistakes so I locked up myself
It was a long and difficult year a had to walk to school other wasn't like two minutes long or anything it was forty five minutes!!!!!! I had to wake up very early to walk to school, but still I stayed strong I was always smiling even if I was dying in my heart ,I will smile so anyone would see my pain
4 month later my mom and I moved to my other aunt's house (her actual sister) things got better but my mom will still put me down cause I can't cook I tried but its like my brain doesn't want me to , she would cuss at me , saying bad words and I pretend like I didn't care but it hurt.
I went to a new school, that was better, my English got better but I was still shy ....
We moved again, I know I moved a lot.. but it's not for something bad
On our new house my mom still couldn't find a job she searched a lot but no success its been almost a year since she hasn't find a job
And a miracle happended she found one but not so good but she stuck to it
And my life got worse she kept insulting me, telling me that I'm worthless she wishes that she didn't gave birth to me and those kinds of things, that's when I couldn't take it , of course I couldn't argue with her so every night I would cry remembering everything word that she said, and she got an opportunity to go work on another state I was happy at first but remember that I will be lost without her and started crying again
But every time I shows her love she doesn't accept it when I don't give it she says that I'm heartless
I
Everything I do, and everything that i'll do she will never appreciate it I'm only here to study and make money to ensure her future
