Every day is the same.I'm going to work. After work, straight home. But today.
Today I took myself on a date. I made a nice little plan.
- Bookstore - check
I bought a new manga and a book.
- Coffee shop - check
I bought an iced matcha.
- Walking around town - check
From the city centre to the old town.
- Bar - check
I sat outside. I ordered a gin tonic. I had a few cigarettes and texted a few people.
Once I noticed my drink was long gone, I ordered another. I started to get a headache because there was a small chance that I would meet the guy I was texting with.
I have no desire to meet him. I'm not interested in him.
I don't care about him. Why not? Because most of them just let me down. The ones I want - they don't want me. The ones I don't want - either they don't want me or they want me with high expectations.
One more drink. Nothing matters to me. My mind is going blank. No voices. Nothing. Empty.
I just sit there. Alone. Enjoying my drink. Enjoying the night sky and the few stars I could see. Enjoying the momentary peace in my life.
Maybe there's something wrong with me. But there's nothing I can do about it.
I just want my peace accompanied by a little solitude and a few drinks.
