As I sat down across from the chief and Carisi, a thick tension settled over the room, pressing down on me. I could feel my heartbeat quicken, my breathing becoming shallow. The weight of unspoken words and unaddressed emotions clawed at me, and before I knew it, I was spiraling, the edges of the room blurring as my chest tightened painfully.
Carisi noticed immediately, his expression softening as he leaned toward me. "Hey, just breathe. Focus on me, alright? You're safe," he murmured gently, his voice a lifeline in the storm of panic.
But his words barely registered as my vision began to narrow. I felt the chief stand, his voice urgent as he picked up the phone. "Get a bus here—now."
The mention of a bus sent a ripple of alarm through the squad room. Olivia, Fin, Bruno, and Velasco all exchanged concerned glances before Velasco bolted to his feet, sprinting down the hall toward the chief's office. He pushed open the door, his eyes immediately finding mine, and without a word, he was at my side, crouching down in front of me.
"Hey, hey, look at me," he said softly, his voice firm but calming as he held my gaze. "Focus on me. Just breathe with me, alright?"
His presence broke through the fog of fear, his steady breathing anchoring me as I struggled to pull in air. Slowly, painfully, I matched his breaths, finding my way back to a semblance of calm. As the room finally came into focus, I felt my energy drain away, leaving me weak. My body gave out, and before I knew it, I was collapsing forward.
Velasco caught me, his arms wrapping protectively around me as he pulled me close. I felt the solid warmth of his chest, his heartbeat strong and steady against my cheek. He didn't hesitate; his grip tightened as he lifted me into his arms, cradling me with a gentleness that belied his strength.
"I've got you," he murmured, his voice soothing as he carried me out of the chief's office, his presence a constant reassurance.
As we emerged, the squad room fell silent, the weight of concern heavy in the air. Fin, Bruno, and Olivia watched with quiet understanding as Velasco held me close, his gaze focused solely on me as he walked, his touch a steady reminder that I wasn't alone. And in his arms, safe from the burdens of the past and the questions left unanswered, I finally allowed myself to breathe.
Velasco moved with careful urgency, cradling me in his arms as if I weighed nothing at all. I could feel the solid, reassuring warmth of his embrace, his steady breath against my ear as he continued to walk toward the exit. The hallway blurred in my vision, the quiet buzz of voices growing distant as he took me away from the tension of the chief's office, away from the prying eyes that still lingered on us.
As he reached the door to the precinct's exit, the cool air outside brushed against my skin, bringing a wave of clarity to my foggy mind. He paused for a moment, shifting his hold slightly to adjust, but his eyes never left me. His expression was soft, almost protective, as though he was waiting for me to steady myself.
"I'm right here," he said again, his voice quiet but steady. "You're okay."
I swallowed hard, the remnants of my panic still clinging to the edges of my mind. But hearing him speak, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against me, I could finally begin to breathe again. My chest loosened, and the dizzying sensation that had overtaken me slowly started to fade.
We reached the parking lot, where Olivia, Fin, and Bruno had gathered, their expressions a mix of concern and understanding. Olivia, her brows furrowed, stepped forward as she saw me in Velasco's arms. Her voice was gentle, a quiet reassurance that matched his tone.
"You okay, Detective?" Olivia asked, her eyes scanning me with the same care that Velasco had shown.
I nodded, barely able to speak as I leaned into Velasco's warmth, his presence still the only thing keeping me grounded. He looked down at me, his hand gently smoothing over my hair, offering the unspoken promise of safety.
"I'm fine," I managed to whisper, but even as I spoke, the weight of everything—of the meeting, of the case, of the past—still hung heavily in the air around me.
Velasco, seeing the weariness in my eyes, leaned down, pressing his forehead lightly against mine. "Let's get you somewhere quiet," he murmured. "You've had enough for today."
As he turned toward the car, the others fell into step behind us, their footsteps quiet in the soft afternoon light. Bruno and Fin exchanged a look, their usual banter subdued in the face of what had just transpired. They knew better than to press; today wasn't the day for jokes.
Velasco carefully settled me into the passenger seat, securing me with a tenderness that made my chest ache. As he closed the door and walked around to the driver's side, I sank back into the seat, trying to clear my mind. But I knew one thing for sure—whatever was coming next, I wouldn't be facing it alone. Velasco was here, and that was enough for now.
He slid into the driver's seat, starting the engine with a soft hum. The car pulled away from the precinct, leaving the chaos behind, and I found myself finally able to breathe without the weight of panic hanging over me.
"We'll take it one step at a time," Velasco said, his voice steady but filled with an unspoken promise. "You don't have to carry everything by yourself."
I closed my eyes, letting his words wash over me, feeling a flicker of peace settle in my chest. For the first time in a long while, I believed it.
