And You Became My Favorite Track

Chapter 1

Under the Weight of Expectations

Have you ever felt like your life wasn't entirely your own, as if the choices you made were somehow shaped by everyone around you? That was how I felt, standing at the crossroads of my future, with my family's expectations pushing me in a direction I wasn't sure I was ready for. And as the day of my departure grew closer, the pressure only seemed to build, until it became impossible to ignore. Was I truly ready for this new chapter, or was I just going along with the flow?

I was too stunned by what happened earlier. I wish it did not happen at all. I ran to drink a glass of water which I thought would calm my panting heart but it did not.

What the heck is wrong with me. I once wished of going to the city and pursuing my academic goals there and now that I finally have the chance of going there I am hesitant to continue. Whatever happened to my visions back then?

I rushed to my room and locked myself in there like I always do.

I put on my headphones and streamed some songs and threw myself on my bed. I shoved my face on to my hard pillow and started humming to seek relief. When suddenly my music stopped playing and beeps started to go through my earphones. It was a notification.

"Rylle, ready na ba files mo for enrollment? Last day na ng enrollment bukas sis".  My friend, Beatrice messaged me.

Beatrice is one of my closest friends back in junior high and grade 11 senior high, and until now. I don't know what to reply because I am still recovering from what my lola proposed me to do.

"Bea.."- with a crying emoji, i responded. 

Beatrice knows it well whenever I am having a hard time. Isang Bea ko lang she knows I am not okay because I would initiate a convo with a "Hoy!".

Funny right? because it is only with Beatrice whom I was truly comfortable. "Bakit yon? ano nanaman nangyari sa Keeping Up with the Kardashians na family drama mo" she followed.

Ganyan talaga siya, she is the type of hindi seryosong friend when it comes to confrontations pero right after she finds out what is truly going on, she will be gentle and intimate. It is one of the things I dearly like about that friend of mine. She tries to make things less heavier for me because who would not laugh because of her humor. 

"lilipat raw ako sa manila : (( ayoko umalis pls pls". i replied.

"Haaaa??!! Saan ka lilipat? is this true or eme mo lang? she responded.

"Bea seryoso kasi ako oh!" I said.

"Eh pano 'yan enrollment na, may maabutan ka ba doon? Dito ka nalang kase sis, magmanila ka kapag college ka na". She said.

Of course, she knows all of my plans and i know hers as well. We always talk about our aspirations in life and how should we purse our dreams. We are like siblings after all.

"Chat kita mamaya" i ended the chat like i am fine at all.

Hindi talaga ako mapakali, hindi ko maisip na aalis na nga ako but on the second thought, Beatrice's last message gave me hope. What if subukan kong ipersuade ang lola ko at sabihin na next year nalang tutal impossible naman na may maabutan pa akong school roon sa manila gayong 1 week nalang pasukan na.

Hindi talaga ako makalma. Hinarap ko ang katawan ko saka ako tumayo mula sa kinalalagyan ko. Binuksan ko muli ang pinto at pinuntahan si lolamommy para kumbinsihin.

Ako:
"Mommy, what if wala na palang school na open para tanggapin ako? Magmamanila pa rin po ba ako?"

Lola:
"Marami pa raw don ang available sabi ng mama mo, nakausap na namin siya at pumayag naman siyang asikasuhin ang paglipat mo ron, mag impake ka na at bukas ipapahatid na kita sa tito Arlando mo sa terminal, nakapag book na rin siya ng ticket mo."