Complicated Desire (GXG)

2

8 years later

Franchoi

"Franchieasca! Get your fucking ass in here!".

I once again heard my mother's scream. Lazily I stood up from my room and started striding down to the hall on my way to her room.

I sighed, Before knocking on the door. I was used to this kind of treatment from her. Alot has changed when I did terrible shit when I turned 12..
It was bad.. But what can I do. I did it and there's nothing turning back.
All I had to do now was endure this torture till I decided when I can stay and get out of my mother's way.

So I knocked. Three times, Each knock got louder but gentle.

"Get in here."
She said, her voice I could hear was firm, serious..

And bracing myself.

I step in then..

Slap!

A loud smack echoed the room, a painful but hard slap landed on my cheek, the pain stinged.. But I was used to it. I could feel I was on the verge of crying.. Feeling weak, even though I told myself I was used to this, That I could hold it in because I suffered through the same torture for 5 years.

"Fucking disgrace.. I told you to stay away from that boy. Or else he will be fired. I'M TELLING YOU."
She was an inch away from my face, shouting at me.

"Mom.."
I breathed out.

"I'm not the one who keeps close to him. He is the one that keeps joking me around, I tell him to sto-"

My words got cut off when she slapped me again, this time.. Harder but I didn't feel much pain. My cheek immediately absorbed the first one so this second got used to it.

"I don't fucking care. If Paul gets fired, it will be your fault. You will do everything he does if he gets out. You slut."

"Mom I swear.. I have no intention flirting with him, What you see between our jokes is just friendly!"
I tried explaining.

She thinks just because me and Paul are friends and joke around are already flirting! He's actually the one who does most conversing and I'm the one who gets blamed..
Fuck my life.

"Out. Now. Before I have a bolo hacked into your head."
She coldly said like I wasn't the same daughter she decided to adopt without thinking twice..

I did not say anything instead immediately went for the door, eager to leave this room of hell.
My tears wanted to get lose so bad, the minute I stepped out and closed the door behind me, I felt the warmth of it roll down my cheeks. My vision getting blurry.

My emotion was out of control..

And I had no one to run to now.

Just me.

Without thinking twice, I quickly went for my room knowing it was my only safe zone inside this house, where I could release all my shit and no one can disturb me at the moment.

My breath starting to get heavier, I couldn't properly breathe, my emotions got the best of me.
And it snapped even more when I entered my room.

I felt like I was weak, Broken. I wasn't the same kid I used to be before. Mom wasn't the same loving like she used to be. She and I had been distant.

It was all my fault though. But I had a reason.
A reason I don't know if it was valid enough for me to do that kind of shit I did but I sure know it was one of the reasons why.

__________

-J.