The (extremely goofy) adventures of Max

Entry 4: The Legendary Park Bench Fiasco

Tuesday, March 26

So, remember yesterday when I told you about Lo's genius idea to play park bench parkour? Well, today was the day, and let me just say, it did not disappoint. It was probably the funniest disaster we've ever had.

We met up at the park at around 11 a.m., armed with nothing but our questionable confidence and sneakers that were definitely not meant for this. Lo was hyped, hyping us all up with, "We got this, guys! This is going to be our defining moment." We all laughed, half-believing him and half-knowing someone was going to wipe out in a spectacular fashion.

Leo was the first to take the leap. He made it from one bench to the next with all the grace of a flying squirrel that forgot it couldn't actually fly. He landed, stumbled, and then managed to recover without eating dirt. We cheered like he'd just won an Olympic medal. Ben followed, and he took it up a notch by attempting a 360 spin in mid-air. He landed it, but immediately fell backward, legs flailing, and disappeared into the bushes behind the bench. The sound he made was somewhere between a squawk and a yelp, which set us all off laughing so hard we could barely breathe.

Then it was my turn. I took a deep breath, focused on my target, and went for it. For a second, I felt like I was soaring, like I'd nailed it. Then gravity decided to remind me that I'm not Spider-Man. My foot slipped, and I ended up sprawled across the bench, half on, half off, with one leg doing its best impression of a flamingo. The guys doubled over, tears streaming down their faces, and I couldn't help but laugh too, even while my leg was cramped in a position that should be illegal.

And Lo? The mastermind of this chaos? He stepped up last, did a dramatic countdown, took off with a heroic leap—and somehow managed to get his shoelace caught on the bench's armrest mid-jump. He fell sideways in the most slow-motion way possible, landed on the grass with a thud, and yelled, "I'm good!" while lying on his back like he'd just been flattened by a cartoon piano.

By the time we'd all recovered from laughing, we were a mess. Grass stains, twigs in our hair, and Ben still trying to pick leaves out of his hoodie. We got a few side-eyes from park-goers, but it was worth it.

Today was proof that Lo's ideas are dumb, but somehow they make for the best stories. We may not be cut out for professional parkour, but who needs that when you've got friends who'll try anything with you, no matter how ridiculous?