Complicated Desire (GXG)

3

Franchoi

"Well you look like shit."
My friend reminded me unnecessarily.

I already knew I look like shit, worst, feel like shit.

"Don't start Jess."
I said, clearly not in the mood.

She shook her head and continued sipping on her hot coffee.
While I, was just staring blankly at my favorite java chip frappucino.

I honestly don't know what's gotten into me. I act more worst and I feel like I'm losing myself. With family problems then school problems.

First of all, Mom disgusts me, second she wants me to stop begging her for me to go back to school.
It's been like what. I don't know, 2 years?
I missed a lot.

I miss class. I miss assignments. I wanna feel smart again.

I wanna feel how enjoyable life is like before.

"Hello, Earth to French fries?? You there?"
I got startled when Jessica snapped her fingers right infront my eyes.

"Yeah- so what again?"
I shook my head trying to focus on reality.

Waiting for her reply, I looked up to her seeing she had a frown on her face and this concerned pity look that I hate when it's on me.

"Jesus. What's gotten into you?".

I scoffed. Really. You ask me that now. How nice.

"Unfortunately I'm really lost in my thoughts and it's hard to get lose now with all the problems going on so please understand that I-"

My speech cut off when my phone started ringing that was on the table right beside my drink.

Seeing that the contact name was Mom, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop a little, I know I'm starting to get nervous again. I've always been when it's about her.

"Gonna answer that or just let that ringtone annoy our chit chat for the rest of the day."
Jess nodded at me looking at the phone.

"Yeah uh.. I need to take this for a sec. I'll be back, if you don't mind."
I grabbed my phone and stood up.

"Yeah, Certainly wont mind. Go now. Shoo."
She motioned me away like I was a puppy.

Tch.

So I went out of the Starbucks cafe and stood by, looking down at my phone.

I should answer it before she gets hectic.

I slid the button up answering the call and there goes my mother's voice yapping about.

"Took you long to answer. I expect you to pack your clothes because tomorrow morning you and the driver are leaving going to the province. Your stuff are all in the van. Bye."

Then the call ended..

Geez, No 'Hi, hello, how are you.' just straight to the point.
I didn't even get to squeak a letter out.

"Tsk"
I clicked my tongue.

But then realization hits.
She's sending me to the province.
With all my stuff packed..

Then this means... She wants me to live there?!
No fucking way. Nah I can't do this. Oh shit.

My palms started sweating, I was tensed again. My heart was pounding like crazy, Now I was about to experience a new environment that was uncalled for.

Hell. Can't this get any worst.

I immediately went back in, trying to get myself composed like I wasn't shock from the news that just hit me like a train, so fast, Unexpected.

"Right, you look pale. You alright?"
Jess' concerned look even worsened, and I was getting pissed. But I set my frustrations aside. She was my friend, it's normal for her to be like this.

"Yeah, I'm fine."
I lied. I'm not fine. I'm miserable. A complete mess.

"Apparently. Mom told me to pack some stuff, So I need to go. I might be away for a while but I guess I'll come back. Soon."
I sipped on my frappe.
Pretending what I said was so casual.

"What? Where are you going?".

"I don't know. Just, random."
I lied again.

"What's happening with you guys. Don't disappear alright? And keep in touch too. I'll miss you."
Jess pouted.

Now she's making it like a sad movie. God.

"Don't be so dramatic now. I'll be back anyway. And don't forget. If you ever get a girlfriend, inform me. You know I got your back."
I winked, hoping to light up the mood.

Jess chuckled slightly.

__________

-J.