Love happens all the time. Specially when you are trying not to catch feelings, but do it anyway.
Join Sanya and Sanjay in their story , when love - a sentiment you are strictly not supposed to feel at a mere young age of fourteen , transpires betw...
I wondered what it felt like while tracing the soft dried petals of one in my hand. Pretty much like my life.
Tossed from one hand to another without ever considering how one feels, without even caring for one's choice or opinions. All with love and good intentions. Just as when you really start blooming.
Ain't it ?
And it's not really bad. Honestly.
Cause unlike the dried rose that I can crush in my hand, My life cannot be crushed. I am safe and secure even when I have been turned away from my roots and -
" Come on Sans, you know how uncle aunty are. " Avantika says the harsh truth in a rather understanding tone placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
" Please don't start again," I scoff at her, knowing fully that she is not at all wrong but yet venting it all out on her, " you aren't the one whose parents live miles away. You aren't the one whose parents just dropped their daughter off like a fucking gende ka phool . Yoy arent the one who has to leave her village behind."
I can't stop raising my voice at her despite knowing that she is.not. at fault. Its like I can't stop myself and she knows this cause she stays quiet with a clenching jaw as I bite her off, until I went too far and she pins me with an unsettling glare.
" You aren't the one whose life just changed-" I inhale a very very deep breath and stop myself- " Let's just drop it. Please."
And I place the rose in her hand , offering her my sincerest apology. Wishing it would convey the regards that my ego won't let me.
For a fact, we both know how not true that thing is. When I shifted- was made to shift to city on my own after one call of my parents- abruptly, Avantika was the one who helped me to settle down, to make me feel at ease. She comforted me.
She allowed me to sleep in her room, let me hug her tightly ( and awkwardly hugged me back ) and sang me lullabies through my nightmares of never seeing my parents ever again, of being forgotten by them, and my existence erased from their memories among many other things that still have power over me.
And right now, despite my shitty mood owing to the fact that my mummy - papa once again denied to come and meet me and take me back with them - which I think is a manifestation of my worst fear turning real - and that scares the shit out of me only more , she is the one holding me together.
Maybe that's why, she's still here. Pursing her lips as she tucks the rose in my curly jhaado-like hairs.
" Despite all our differences, " She speaks after a very long pause and stops again and huffs, " we are still here , together. Under the same roof-"
" Don't make it sound like the forced proximity trope." I grumble.
- " Sharing the same room. Eating the same food. Going to same school, Attending the same classes and exchanging jockey bras... and etc etc." She continues, not paying attention to my remark and huffs again. " You know they have a reason, right ?"
" Exactly. Bhai ab Corona aa rha hai. First lock down was okay." - and I am at her ears again, "They are not even coming before the second lock down! That is the problem."
She winces but then straightens up,"Don't tell me you are going to sulk through the whole month."
I cross my arms." Just go away bro. At least let me be at peace in Terace."
She rolls her eyes, " And when did madam became a nature enthusiast? Darling, you are not even looking up at the sky."
"You know what, Ava..." I shake my head, " I can see the sky but not feel the fresh air... So please." And fuck me ,because once again I am feeling this mushy mushy over emotionally unstable and falling girl.
All because her parents don't-
" Hey bhagvaan ! " Avantika exclaims and then holds my shoulders, " You know what I am Going to watch Baalveer with you. But don't cry. I am sorry, I mean don't be sad. "
" Baalveer !" I exclaim with excitement, that show has my ears perked, " You will ?"
She sighs, " Yes. And I'll let you add Extra Masala in Maggie and run 50 laps with you."
I grin widely, excited and happily. Not even my parents un- homecoming can take this away from me. " You know I've this plan."
She groans as I continue nonetheless, " 100 times to and from in our aangan for 7 straight days. We will make 6 packs in one week."
" Not that again!" She objects quickly and I stick my tounge out at her, grinning as she holds my hand takes me back downstairs.
When we did for one day last week, it went down in drains. What actually happened was that when I was running my 100th time( while she had given up at 69th) , Avantika came beside me and warned this guy was staring at me.
I glared at him only for him to stare more at me amused. That too, Until I went inside, and we didn't do it again.
We couldn't do it again. Not like that guy was anything dangerous but cause Avantika's muscles had swollen badly.
And even if he meant harm, that mere baker next door can't do a bloody damn thing. Not like I will let any other man's name add to the list of people who wronged me.
Remind me again, why was he not a merest bit affected by my glare for I've this really bad certain way of looking back at men like him.
Oh god!
Not the same convo again.
♡-♡-♡
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