[Fade open to the 2013 Universal Pictures logo. Fade to black. Then, fade to the DreamWorks logo, where we see a grappling hook latch on from below. Mr. Wolf scrambles up the rope, gets on the moon, kicks the hook down, and relaxes. Fade to black.]
MR. SNAKE: (voiceover; to Wolf) Stop.
MR. WOLF: (voiceover; to Snake) I'll stop if you just explain it to me, because I don't...
SNAKE: (voiceover; to Wolf) Would you please just drop it?
[Fade open to a newspaper table lying on the table. The front page of The City Times newspaper shows a picture of a heart-shaped meteorite. Headline reads, "METEORITE ON DISPLAY AT THE GALA FOR GOODNESS." On the left side of the photo text reads, "On the first anniversary of its crash landing, the Love Crater meteorite will be on display at Professor Marmalade's famed charity fundraiser. The right side says, "Master Bandits strike again!" Mr. Wolf jiggles the spoon in the coffee cup and takes it out.]
WOLF: (offscreen; to Snake) Alright, alright, fine, fine, fine, consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
SNAKE: (offscreen; to Wolf) Good.
[Pan back to see Wolf and Snake sitting at the table in a restaurant. Snake pours creamer into his cup.]
WOLF: (prepares to drink but stops; to Snake) But I mean come on... Everybody loves birthdays. (Snake groans)You've got decorations. You've got balloons. You got parties... And CAKE.
SNAKE: (as Wolf drinks; to Wolf) Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
WOLF: (stares in shock; to Snake) Seriously, though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
SNAKE: (holds up his spoon; to Wolf) Guinea pig.
WOLF: (groans; to Snake) Again with the guinea pigs! (laughs as Snake pours salt into his cup) I bet if I blind folded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
SNAKE: (puts the salt down; to Wolf) Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) Air?
SNAKE: (inches close; to Wolf) Yes, air. (tastes the air; smiles) Mmm, nice!
WOLF: (lounges while Snake licks his cup; to Snake) I don't know. They're a little, uh, they're a little cute for my taste.
SNAKE: (grins; to Wolf) That what makes them so delicious! (grabs the T-Bone) You're not just eating food, you're eating pure goodness. (throws the bone away) It's not about the pig, it's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) So, you can... you can taste air?
SNAKE: (in dismay; to Wolf) Ugh.
YOU ARE READING
The Bad Guys Crossover
AdventureIn a world where humans and anthropomorphic animals co-exist, master pickpocket Mr. Wolf leads the Bad Guys, an infamous gang of criminals: his best friend and safecracker Mr. Snake, expert hacker Ms. Tarantula, master of disguise Mr. Shark, and loo...
