shhh it's not you, it's me

Chapter 4: A Night to Forget

I hate nice girls. If they so much as say hello it stays in my mind, if they return my text my heart races. The day one calls me, I know I will look at my call history and grin. But I know in my heart that’s just them being nice. People who are nice to me, are also nice to everyone else. I almost end up forgetting that, if the truth is cruel, then lies must be kind. That’s why kindness is a lie. I gave up on almost expecting it. Always mistaking it and even hoping for it. Someone who’s been for so long doesn’t fall for the same trick twice. I’m the best when it comes to losing, and that is why I will always hate nice girls. 
Parties aren’t my thing. I’ve always been the guy who prefers the quiet company of books over loud music and suffocating crowds. But when Tina invited me to join her and her friends, I couldn’t refuse. I told myself it was harmless, just an evening with her. How bad could it be? I should have known better. When I walked into her house, the air felt heavier, the stares sharper. I was met with silence—an eerie, uncomfortable silence. The group huddled around Tina turned to me, their expressions shifting from confusion to annoyance. I recognized every face in the room. Aryan’s crowd. The popular kids. The ones who made people like me their entertainment. For a moment, no one spoke. Then, the whispers started. Loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough to feign innocence.
“You invited him?”
“What were you thinking, Tina? Does Aryan know?”
“Why would you bring someone like him to our party?”
The words stung, even though I’d prepared myself for this. I stepped to the side, wishing I could fade into the shadows. Amid the rising tension, one person didn’t join the chorus of ridicule. Meera, Tina’s best friend, stood off to the side, her face calm but her eyes sharp. She was observing, her gaze darting between Tina and me.
Meera has always been an anomaly to me. She’s kind, almost fiercely so, and it’s hard to understand how she fits into Aryan’s group. She and Tina have been close friends for years, and while Tina’s warmth was like the sun—bright, obvious, and drawing everyone in—Meera’s was quieter, almost imperceptible. Without raising her voice, Meera stepped forward. “Enough,” she said, her tone steady. “If Tina invited him, then he’s here. That’s it. Let it go.” The group fell silent, though their expressions remained sour. Tina gave Meera a thankful look, but I caught something in Meera’s eyes—a flicker of doubt. Why had she stepped in? Was it loyalty to Tina, or was there something else?
I watched as the two of them moved to the corner, whispering to each other. Meera’s glances occasionally darted back to me, her expression unreadable. It was unsettling, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was trying to piece something together. I shifted uncomfortably, regretting every decision that had led me here.
Then the door opened again.
Aryan walked in, his presence commanding as always. His confidence was infectious, his smile too sharp to be genuine. Behind him was Sahil, his best friend.
Sahil is hard to figure out. He’s not cruel like Aryan, not openly at least. When we’re alone, he’s helped me—giving a nod in the hallway, offering advice when I needed it. But when others are around, he’s a different person, blending into the crowd of mockery. He doesn’t insult me directly, but he doesn’t stop it either. His loyalty to Aryan overrides everything else, and that makes him dangerous in a different way. As Aryan scanned the room, Sahil whispered something in his ear. Their eyes found me almost simultaneously. Sahil’s expression was unreadable, but Aryan’s face broke into a smirk that sent a chill down my spine. He walked over, his stride confident, his smirk widening with every step.
“Well, well, well,” he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. “Look who decided to crawl out of his little nerd cave. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
His voice was loud, drawing attention from the others. The laughter started—soft chuckles at first, then full-blown mockery. I stiffened, my stomach churning with a mix of anger and humiliation. Aryan leaned in, his voice dropping to a whisper only I could hear. “You really thought you’d fit in here? Tonight’s going to be fun.” I wanted to push him off, to say something, anything. But my throat closed up, and my feet felt rooted to the spot. The laughter grew louder, the room spinning around me. And then, Sahil stepped in. He grabbed Aryan’s arm, pulling him back slightly. “Come on, man,” he said, his tone light but firm. “Give the guy a break.” For a moment, I thought he was defending me. But then Sahil turned to me, his expression unreadable. “You good, Aarush?” he asked, his voice devoid of mockery.
I nodded mutely, unable to find my voice.
“Cool,” Sahil said, then turned back to Aryan with a smirk of his own. “Let’s not scare off Tina’s guest too soon, yeah?” Aryan laughed, clapping Sahil on the back. “Fair point,” he said, but his eyes never left mine. As Aryan and Sahil moved further into the room, I felt the weight of their scrutiny lingering. Sahil’s behavior was especially unsettling. His actions felt calculated, as if he was observing, analyzing. Did he know something I didn’t?
From across the room, Meera’s gaze caught mine again. She was watching too, her expression thoughtful and cautious. Unlike the others, her eyes weren’t filled with scorn, but there was something else there—curiosity, maybe even suspicion.
Why were they both so interested in my presence here?
I stood alone, caught between Meera’s quiet intensity and Sahil’s cryptic demeanor. It felt like I was a puzzle they were both trying to solve, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what they’d find.
One thing was clear: this wasn’t just a party. Not for me. And not for them.