The feeling of typing in your name in a quiz you know you're going to fail. Knowing you're never going to seen as anything but a girl, the feeling of not being able to breathe from the bandages and the too tight sports bras.
Being told that I have the ability to be better and I just need to try harder and pay attention better. Getting 18/20 and getting told to be better, memorize more... grow up.
My mom will never accept me never love me like a mother should, she will just make comments on me no matter what I do if I get more skinny I need more food and I'm trying to impress boys and if I go to a normal weight I need to put more effort in my appearance and stop slacking off. When I try to do something like monkey bars and fall it's "not are you ok?" It's "I told you girls can't have arm muscles." If I try something that my brother did and do better than him it's not "good job" it's "oh well your older so it doesn't count."
I try my best to give my siblings the childhood I don't get staying up late reading them storys siting in their room until they fall asleep making sure they don't hear my parents arguments or get hurt mentally or physically. Every day feels like a haze I honestly just want to run away from home and never talk to my parents again.
