Love Me Through It

Chapter 1- Remind Me

Every night for over a year the same thing happens. We come to our bedroom and turn the lights out; crawling into bed next to one another, saying our goodnight's with a light peck, turning our backs to the other, and proceeding to go straight to sleep is our daily routine. Never did I think that we would ever be in this situation. Never did I think the flame that burned so bright would dim so much that it seems to have went out from time to time.

I miss the times when we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I miss the times when it killed us to be apart from one another. I miss the times when the flame would burn so bright that it would blind us. I miss the times when we would sit and talk for hours on end, never getting bored with each other. I miss the times when we went to bed and didn't just sleep. I miss her doing all the things that made me fall in love with her.

I lay here in bed on another sleepless night. The wind is softly howling outside as the moonlight peeked through a slight crack in the curtains. Bridget is lying next to me. Her long, wavy, blonde hair flows freely around her face. Her piercing blue eyes are concealed by her peaceful slumber. Do I dare wake her after a full day of taxing the kids around town for various activities? Do I dare remind her of the flame that is in danger of burning out? I reach up to gently shake her and I quickly stop. It won't end well. The kids will have her up before long and she'll only complain how she never gets any sleep. She'll just tell me to leave her alone and to go back to sleep.

To resist the urge to wake her up I quietly get up out of the bed making sure I'm extra cautious not to wake her. Moving slowly down the hallway and down the stairs sure not to wake the kids, I entered my office. Sitting down at my desk I pulled up iTunes and started playing the first playlist I saw, Bridget's Mix. I turned to the bay window behind me, opening the blinds to see the full moon in all of its glory. When 'Remind Me' began to play. I found myself relating to the lyrics more than I ever had before. That was the moment when inspiration hit me. I turned to my desk, grabbing a piece of paper and pen.

Bridget,

I sit here on another sleepless night wanting to wake you, but knowing that it wouldn't end how I would hope. I miss those nights when I didn't fear putting you in a bad mood for the next 24 hours when I woke you up because I couldn't sleep. I miss feeling so in love and like I would die if I couldn't feel your touch. I miss the days when we would do other things in our bed than sleep. We constantly say that we're okay, but I'm not willing to settle for okay. I want us to be the couple we were the day we got married. I want us to be great.

It has been months since we truly connected. We don't hardly talk. We don't have date nights anymore. We don't love each other the way that we should. Don't get me wrong with that. I love you. I always will, but we don't love each other like we used to. I'm just as guilty as you. I don't take that extra minute before I walk out the door to really kiss you. I don't talk to you when I know something is bothering you. I don't sit down with my first cup of coffee and chat with you about what has been going on. I don't chase you around the house like we are teenagers. I don't sweep you off of your feet with a night out. I don't treat you to a night in without the kids.

I'm terrified that we won't make it. That we won't last. That we will be another story of love gone wrong. Prove to me that my fear is nothing more than a fear. Prove to me that I have nothing to worry about. I feel like the spark isn't there like it used to be. I need you to remind me. Remind me how we first fell in love. Remind me what it's like to go to bed and not just sleep. Remind me what it's like to make love again. Remind me why we got married in the first place.

If you do this, I promise to do the same. I promise to remind you of why you fell in love with me to begin with. I promise to talk to you about everything. I promise to touch you like you are the most important person in my life. Because you are. I know I don't show it as much as I used to, but I promise that will change. I promise to be the man that you married. I promise to love you from the ends of the earth, to the moon and back a thousand times over.