BURY IN THE RED CLOAK

CHAPTER 1: VISITING WILLIAM

It filtered through the thin curtains to create a soft glow in Jane's bedroom. The chirping of birds outside is hardly audible, almost muffled by the gentle whirring of the ceiling fan. Jane opened each eye one at a time, the light adjusting as she looked up at the ceiling. All was silent and still for a moment-even peaceful. But the weight there in her chest reminded her of the day she was about to face.

That day was a memorial day to William.

She lay there for just a little while longer, her heart heavy with thoughts of her brother. His absence was always there like a shadow that never left, yet today seemed a good deal stronger. There were no answers, no reasons why he left and this made it worse.

 Sometimes Jane would wonder what really happened to him, but her parents never spoke of it. The silence around his death suffocated her.

Jane mechanically moved through her daily routine: brushing her teeth, splashing cold water on her face, and putting on her school uniform, It felt like armor, something that would ward off the outside world but not the ache inside.

It was quiet downstairs. No one had spoken William's name, but no one needed to; his silence filled all the air like a smell. Maria squared up at the sink, her shoulders tense as she scrubbed at the dishes. Robert sat down at the dinner table, his eyes fixed on the newspaper, though Jane didn't believe he was reading any of it.

Neither ever recognized her as she walked into the kitchen. That was not a new phenomenon, however. They hadn't been the same since William died. The arguments between them had gotten so much worse, but even when they weren't fighting, the silence was almost just as painful.

Today, though, there was something different. Jane could sense it in the way her mother's movements were more hurried and how her father's grip on the newspaper seemed tighter than usual. They were both tense-more than normal."Morning," Jane mumbled, not expecting a reply.Maria nodded at that without turning around, attention fixed on the dishes. Robert did not look up from the newspaper. Jane glanced at the back of his head for one second before she realized that wasn't going to get her anywhere, and she turned back to grab an apple from the counter.She had all the reasons to hate school, but before that, there was something else really occupying her mind. 

She'd decided not to share it with anyone, but after classes she'd go visit William's grave. Her parents never made a thing out of it,but sometimes she just went there alone-it never answered questions in her head, but at least it felt like being closer to him.She wished she could say something to her parents. Words would get lodged in her throat. They would never go together. She could not recall the number of times they had taken turns standing in the same room without speaking to one another. 

The idea of making a pilgrimage to William's grave as a family was impossible-to ask them to pretend that everything could be fine again. Everything hadn't been fine since he was gone."Do you-" she started, but the words died as Maria moved toward the stove, still not looking at her.Jane sighed, letting the thought go. She grabbed her bag and headed for the door. Outside, the cool morning air was a relief, a break from the stifling tension inside.

As she continued walking down the street, thoughts came flooding to her mind about William. She remembered, really well still, how it felt when he smiled at her, made things seem that much simpler. She couldn't help but think of him as she continued on with her day because she missed him so much more than she could possibly say; and how she did not know why he went only made it worse.

Out ahead, Loraine waited at the gate of the school, calming the storm brewing inside Jane with her familiar presence. Loraine had always been there, even after William died and she was the one person Jane could really lean on."Hey," Loraine said softly. She glanced at Jane's face, concerned. "You okay?"Jane shrugged, forcing a small smile. "Yeah. It's just .it's William's memorial today.".Loraine's face softened into understanding. She didn't ask questions or push her for answers, and Jane was grateful for that. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly."Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly."Maybe later," Jane said, though she wasn't sure she would have words when the time came.

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