Ultrakill Oneshits (oneshots)

starbucks Karen

Haaaa, another beautiful day!
...in hell

V2 was hired at a nearby starbucks store, being pressed by his brother - V1 - to help paying bills for once in his lifetime and to have more money to provide for both of them.

Don't screw up, don't screw up...

V2 kept repeating in his mind. Despite his strength and intimidating look he was actually pretty self-conscious and socially awkward.

Here goes nothing...

V2's engine whirred shakily, an alternative version of a sigh. He looked down at his hands and saw them trembling the tiniest bit, he was scared. Of what? He didn't know either.

Eventually V2 got dressed in his work outfit and did what he had to do... Until.

"I ASKED FOR GRANDE MOCHA WITH TRIPLE CARAMEL PUMP, YOU STUPID ROBOT!"

A woman shouted. Seems like she wasn't pleased with her order... V2 didn't bother arguing, but the woman kept screaming. At some point she mentioned the manager which explained everything.

A karen. Classic.

Eventually the woman gave up, having made a whole damn scene over getting two pumps instead of three... What an embarrassment.

Back home

V2 returned home after a long, tiring day at starbucks. He was pretty happy to be back, and he had every reason to. As he entered V1's apartment a pleasant smell of oil soup hit his receptors. He quickly took his coat and shoes off, storming into the kitchen and seeing V1 standing by the cooker.

"Heeey bro, whatcha makin?"

V2 asked, leaning over V1's shoulder from the back.

"Huh, back already?"

V1 looked over his shoulder, his optic lit up with lighthearted amusement as he stirred the soup.

"Already? It's 5pm, dude...
Now answer my question!"

V2 poked V1's waist, making his brother jump a bit before letting out a soft chuckle.

"Oil soup, your favorite... If you didn't notice already, idiot"

V1 turned off the cooker and began pouring the soup into bowls for the two of them. V2 watched in silence, yet with affection. He loved his brother's cooking, even if it was something as simple as oil soup.

Both machines settled by the dining table, across from each other. The room became comfortably silent for a while before V1 decided to speak.

"So, how was work?"

He looked up at V2, expecting god knows what...

V2 rolled his optic and shook his head which didn't suggest the best.

"Terrible! I fucked up some Karen's order and she made a whole scene about it. Also mentioned the manager... Twice."

V1 laughed at that, honestly expecting something along those lines.

"Classic. God, you're lucky, bud. You always end up in the weirdest situations, y'know?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THE END

Maybe, probably.