Quran – 2:45
وَاسْتَعِيْنُوْا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلٰوةِ ۗ وَاِنَّهَا لَكَبِيْرَةٌ اِلَّا عَلَى الْخٰشِعِيْنَۙ
And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive (to Allah)
This month has been hectic, so much has happened ever since I arrived in Guinea. I have an event next week that's happening in Paris and I'm super excited about it, it's the fashion week in France and I was invited by a friend of mine. I'm not a fashion icon but for him here I am trying out new things we have been friends for years we met in Guinea when I visited in 2019. Suleiman is an amazing person and he is good at his work, he designed my engagement dress back then with saeed. I'm leaving for the airport tonight with of course Ahmad he was invited too, we haven't seen nor talked since the incident that took place at his parents. Ahmad: salaam Zainab, how are you doing?
Me: salaam Ahmad, I'm fine Alhamdudillah long time no see Ahmad: yeah, been busy lately you know the business here
Me:it's fine I understand.
omg Zainab Mustafa is that you it's been so long, I was told you visited us but I wasn't at home . I missed you so much. Ahmad's lil sister Fauziyat came running towards me while saying that.
Me: Ziyat Hi i missed u more how have you been and how's uni?
Ziyat:Great Zainab really great I made some new friends
Me: That's lovely just be careful of bad friends please
Ziyat:I will Zee in sha Allah. So you are coming too? I nodded lightly.
Then we boarded the plane we arrived in Paris the next day I was very exhausted we all were and we needed to rest before exploring Paris, my first time visiting Paris actually I have always wanted to visit here with Saeed but sadly we aren't together anymore and Alhamdudillah for that. Hours later we went out just the three of us, we went to a restaurant it's called Jules Verne. The view is beautiful and the food is delicious. We had dinner and went to our hotel, of course I shared room with Ziyat I love that girl she's so beautiful and sweet and she loves being close to me, one time she wanted me to take her at our house in Sierra Leone and we spent her summer break there it was fun. With her around me I feel so much joy that not having a little sister isn't that bad cause I have her. I do have younger brothers and I love them. I was deep in my thoughts when a knock on the door distracted me. Who could that be it's 11pm did Fauziyat order something but she's asleep I said to myself on my way to open the door. Behold it was Ahmad. Ahmad what are you doing here it's late and your sister is asleep already whatever you want to tell her u can do it tomorrow morning. I said all that in one breath. Actually I'm here to talk to you zainab you have been avoiding me why? He said, Uhmm Ahmad no I'm not I have just been busy and you too have been busy that's all. No you are lying, did I do something wrong or said something wrong to you Zayana? If I did I'm sorry please forgive please. No Ahmad you didn't do or say anything wrong, it's just that i haven't been able to get over what auntie Hauwa said you know that we should u know ahhh nvm. Zainab look at me look at me he held me close to him and now we are both staring at each other, ya Allah his eyes the are so beautiful. Did I mention how much I love his eyes, well now you know heheh. We stared at each other for more than a minute then it hit me, let go of me Ahmad we can talk without touching each other you know that, I'm sorry Zainab he said and I too have been thinking about it and I have turned to Allah for guidance and he guided me to you, I didn't want to come here but I was told you will be attending too so I said I too will come I needed to clear my mind and tell u honestly that I haven't been able to forget about you, yes you were avoiding me I called and texted you for a week yet you didn't respond so I told myself to let go until u make up your mind. But zainab I thought it would be easy to forget about our friendship but I couldn't and I Uhmm how do I say this zainab will you marry me? This is not about what my mother said remember on that day before we visited my mother I asked you to marry me and we took it as a joke? It wasn't well I love you Zayana I really do walahi,and I want to be with you forever, I can't imagine my life without you and I don't want to imagine it anymore the past weeks have been one of the darkest days of my life.I'm ready to wait for as long as it takes, think about it and don't feel pressured or guilty about anything please all I need is a genuine and honest answer from you no matter what it may be I'm ready to accept it. Ahmad Uhmm in sha Allah I will think about it and good night. Good night Zayana. Ya rabb guide me ya rabb don't give up on your slave ya Allah direct me. I said to myself when Ahmad left
That night was one of the longest nights ever, I made lots and lots of dua one of them was (Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wadhurriyatina qurrata a'yunin wa-jalna lil-muttaqina imama. Translation: Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.) and I prayed istikhara and made the dua Allahumma innee astakheeruka bi ilmika wa-astaqdiruka biqudratika wa-as'aluka min fadhlika al-adheem. Fa innaka taqdiru walaa aqdiru. Wa ta'lamu walaa a'alamu wa anta allaamul ghuyoob. Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna haadhal-amr (mention your concern) khayrun liy fiy deeniy wa-ma'aashiy wa-'aaqibati amriy, faqdur hu liy wa-'yassar hu- liy thumma baarik liy feehi. Wa in-kunta ta'lamu anna haadhal amr sharrun liy fiy deeniy wa-ma'aashiy wa-'aaqibati amriy. Fa-srifhu 'annee wa-srifni 'anhu. Wa aqdur lial khayra haythu kaana thumma a-rdhiniy bihee.
Translation: O Allah, I seek Your counsel through Your knowledge and I seek Your assistance through Your might and I ask You of Your immense favour, for indeed You alone decree fate while I do not, and You (alone) know (all things) while I do not, and You alone possess all knowledge of the Unseen. O Allah, if You that know this matter ( articulate matter) to be good for me as pertains to my religion, my life and livelihood and to the final outcomes of my affairs, then decree it for me, facilitate it for me, and then bless it for me. But if You know this matter to be harmful to me as pertains to my religion, my life and livelihood and to the final outcomes of my affairs, then distance it from me and distance me from it, then decree what is good for me wherever it may be and content me with it.
I now leave everything in the hands of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
