Anything For Her|Gxg

9

The days blurred together. I spent hours in the practice space, picking up my guitar just to put it back down again. My fingers didn't feel like mine anymore. They moved on autopilot, like everything else in my life lately. The music didn't come the same, and neither did the words.

And that damn text from Freye still sat unread, haunting me with every buzz of my phone.

I couldn't get her out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the way she looked at me that night-vulnerable, wanting, but with a quiet strength that pulled at me in a way nothing else ever had. But I wasn't strong enough for that. I wasn't strong enough for her.

I had always kept my distance. That was how I survived. I had learned young that if you didn't let people get close enough, they couldn't hurt you. But now? With Freye? Everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers.

I didn't want to go home, so I kept myself busy at the studio. Mino had his headphones in, completely lost in his own world, while Rika was wrapped up in a new melody she was writing. Lia, though, she kept glancing at me. It didn't take a genius to see something was off, but she wasn't pushing me. She just watched quietly from her corner.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip everything apart.

But instead, I sat there, lost in the noise of the world outside my head, pretending like I was okay.

---

When I finally got back to the house that night, it was late. Too late for anyone to be up, and I relished the quiet. The house was dark, save for the small light above the kitchen sink, casting long shadows across the room. I moved through it like a ghost, making my way to the living room and collapsing onto the couch.

I didn't want to be here. But where else was there to go? The walls were closing in, and I didn't have the answers anymore. I didn't have the strength to keep pretending.

The phone buzzed again. This time, I didn't ignore it.

Freye: "Axel... please talk to me."

I stared at it, my thumb hovering over the screen. Part of me wanted to reach out, to tell her everything. To let her know how I was feeling, how I was afraid to be who I really was. But the fear of rejection, the fear of not being good enough, held me back.

I rubbed my face and leaned back, letting the cool air from the open window wash over me. My thoughts were a whirlwind-too loud, too chaotic.

I couldn't keep running. Not this time.

But what if she didn't want me to stop? What if my past was too much for her to handle? What if I broke her the way I'd broken everyone else?

My hands trembled as I typed out a response, then deleted it. I tried again, only to erase the words once more.

I couldn't do this.

I couldn't face her like this.

---

The next day was no better. I didn't show up at the studio. I stayed in the house, staring out the window, letting the silence consume me. I knew I couldn't keep hiding, but the thought of facing everyone-especially Freye-felt like too much.

I was broken. I didn't know how to fix it.

When Lia knocked on my door later that afternoon, I didn't have the energy to pretend anymore. She walked in without waiting for an invitation, and I could tell she had already figured it out.

"Hey," she said gently, sitting on the edge of my bed. "You okay?"

I shrugged, the weight of it pressing down on me again. "Yeah, sure. Just... thinking."