Experience

[Chapter one] how it all started..

Author's Note:
Hi everyone! This is my first-ever book, and I truly hope you enjoy it. If you do, please consider leaving a comment or a review—I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you for reading!

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"Other people have it worse."

That's what they said to me, every single time I tried to explain what was wrong. Every time I tried to open up. But I've had enough. I won't open up anymore. What's the point if no one is going to believe me anyway?

I guess this is a strange way to start, but hello. My name is Saturn, and I'm 17 years old. My life is pretty normal, high school and just trying to stay alive.

I just follow along—believing, listening, doing whatever others tell me to. Here's how it all started..:

I was sitting in an empty room.

The silence was deafening. My own thoughts were louder than anything else. I sat on a chair, a desk in front of me with a paper covered in questions.

"Where am I?" you might ask. To be honest, I'm not sure myself. I got forced to be here.

But let me take you back to what led me to be here...

A few days ago..:

"You can't keep this up, Saturn. You need to tell us why you're like this!" Aiden, my best friend, and only friend shouted at me.

"Shut the fuck up, you're so annoying," I snapped, shoving him away. "You wouldn't understand," I added, trying to stay calm, though Aiden clearly wasn't.

"Saturn." He said my name. I looked up, and we made eye contact. "Saturn," he repeated.

"Hm?" I muttered, confused. Why was he repeating my name like that?

"Sat.." I see the pain in his expression.. what's wrong?..

Second by second his expression grew even more serious.

"I found out," he finally said.
I froze. He found out? How?-

"What do you mean, Aiden?" I asked, anxiety creeping in like it always does. When I get anxious, it feels like butterflies are crawling up my throat, making me want to throw up. And that's exactly how I felt right now. I covered my mouth instinctively, but Aiden knew me too well. He could see through it.

"it's okay," he said gently.

"What's okay? I don't know what you're talking about..." I tried to play dumb, hoping he didn't know what I feared.

"Saturn, show me," he demanded. It wasn't a request—it was an order.

No. Aiden can't see. Not this. Not like this..

"Show you what, exactly?" I said, pretending I didn't understand. But Aiden wasn't having it. He was on edge, ready to snap.

"Saturn, this is serious. I'm not going to judge you, just show me. I want to believe it's not real. Tell me it's not real," he said, almost pleading.

I was dead. There was no escape now.

"Look, Aiden—" I started, but he cut me off, more forceful this time.

"Show me!"

His anger was terrifying. I felt sick. I wrapped my hands around my throat, trying to hold everything down, but my vision blurred. Was I crying? Not over this.

"If you don't show me, I'll look myself!" He grabbed my wrist, determined.

I stared at him, terrified. He couldn't see. Not now. The scars were still fresh.