Words Under Red

The Words

It was the usual sunny California day. The church was grand. Inside were friends, family, and crew. Black cloth armbands and uniforms throughout. Large flower arrangements filled the front and surrounded the coffin. The funeral had been underway for over an hour. There was ceremony, military protocol, and various people had gotten up to speak. 

Katie was next. 

She removed the red envelope from her purse, stood up, and made her way to the podium. She set the envelope down and looked out at all of the faces, seeing not one.

"I met Chase when we were both in the same sixth-grade class together. He was very shy and a bit clumsy. He liked to read a lot about insects, birds, airplanes, rockets; anything that could fly. And he liked to memorize big words -- the bigger, the better. I guess he was kind of a nerd." Katie let slip a nervous giggle and the rest of the church laughed. The levity pushed her forward.

"Back then I was painfully shy, myself. I was tall and gangly, and wasn't anything to look at. I got teased often, and sometimes was even hit by the boys and the bigger girls. Chase and I were always the last picked when teams were chosen for afternoon basketball and dodge ball. We both were horrible at them, anyway, and decided early on just to sit out over at the swing set by ourselves during recess and lunch. Chase would talk about wanting to be a fighter pilot or an astronaut. We would tell each other stories about all of the worldly adventures we would have when we grew up." The faces smiled.

"In grade school, before Valentine's Day, all of the students would go to the local 5 & 10 to buy a box of assorted cards. They looked more like small paper with pictures on them. You would take them home and write out one of your classmate's names on each card. The popular kids would write little notes, hearts, and XOXO's to each other and would drop a small candy heart into the envelope, but for us, they barely remembered our names. 

Since Chase was a boy, I was sure he didn't want any mushiness, so I just stuffed his envelope full of candy hearts, which he so happily inhaled." The faces laughed and then she slowed her pace, "Then, Chase handed me my Valentine..."

"I opened the red envelope and slipped out the paper inside." She began to tear and the faces stared. "I read his note and couldn't speak. I just stared at him as he ate the candy hearts. I wasn't aware of anything outside of us and that moment."

"In my bed that evening, I whispered his words over and over until I fell asleep. My Valentine had filled his tummy and his had filled my heart."

"Chase moved away a few months later when his father got stationed in Germany. I never saw him again but kept his Valentine to this day. Whenever I got teased or hit and came home crying, I would go into my drawer and pull out the red envelope and read the words inside." She straightened her back.

"In my junior year of high school boys started to notice me. At university I got offers to model. When this happens most people treat you nicely, but others...not...not so nice."

Katie looked down at the front row; Chase's mother, father, two sisters, wife, and little girl.

"Anything bad that had happened in school, my career, or my personal life I could always pull out that little red envelope and it would make me strong." Her tears came faster.

"The person I am today began with Chase. He showed me there are people who can be kind, and that gave me the confidence in school that led me to be a journalist, which in turn led me to meet my husband, and fulfilling all of my dreams."

She rubbed the envelope in her hands.

"That little boy, who years ago had let me be his friend, has had a profound effect on my life. But, I never got to tell him. I never got to thank him. That..."

Katie looked back at the photograph of Chase on the stand. She focused on his smile, that same smile he'd had as a little boy. Her eyes moved to the coffin and her heart jumped -- she inhaled deeply to keep it in her chest. "Chase, that will always be my biggest regret."

She exhaled, "But, I still have your words."

Katie lifted the red envelope and the faces followed. Folding back the flap, she gradually removed the small card within, and slowly began...

Before a butterfly becomes a butterfly,
it begins its life as a caterpillar.

The caterpillar is ugly, strange, and awkward.
It's ignored, taunted, and even abused.

But, then the caterpillar transforms itself into a butterfly.
The butterfly is beautiful, magical, and graceful.

It's admired, inspires, and treated as special.
It's strange that no one ever remembers the caterpillar inside

Katie, right now everybody sees you as the caterpillar,
but one day you'll show them all. You will be the butterfly.
And I'll be smiling that I knew it all along.

You were always the butterfly.