Faithful Horizons

Chapter 35: Grace's Faith Crisis

Grace sat in the church sanctuary long after the service had ended, the silence stretching around her like a blanket. Sunlight streamed through the stained-glass windows, casting colored patterns across the pews, but the beauty of it barely registered.

She stared at her Bible, open in her lap, but the words blurred together.

She wasn't sure when it started, the creeping doubt that had taken root in her heart. Maybe it had been after Ethan's encounter with his old teacher and the way it had shaken him. Or maybe it was seeing his mom grow weaker despite their prayers.

Or maybe it had been there all along, waiting for the right moment to surface.

"Why, God?" she whispered, her voice trembling. "Why does it feel like You're so far away?"

The week leading up to that moment had been a whirlwind.

Ethan had thrown himself into his faith like never before, spending hours reading scripture and asking Grace countless questions about passages that confused him. His eagerness had been contagious at first, filling her with pride and joy. But then came the questions she couldn't answer.

"Why does God let people suffer?" Ethan asked late one evening, his voice raw. "Like my mom. She's the kindest person I know, and she's been through so much. Why hasn't God healed her?"

Grace had hesitated, searching for the right words. "Sometimes God's plan doesn't make sense to us," she'd said. "But we have to trust that He's working for good, even when we can't see it."

Ethan had nodded, but the doubt in his eyes had lingered, and Grace couldn't shake the feeling that she'd let him down.

And now, sitting in the sanctuary, she felt that doubt echoing in her own heart.

"Hey," a familiar voice broke the silence, pulling Grace from her thoughts.

She looked up to see her mom standing at the end of her pew, her face etched with concern. "You've been in here a while," she said gently. "Everything okay?"

Grace sighed, closing her Bible and setting it aside. "Not really."

Her mom slid into the pew beside her, waiting patiently. Grace hesitated, her hands twisting together in her lap.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she said finally... like I can't hear Him anymore, Like He's not there."

Her mother nodded, her expression thoughtful. "That's not unusual, Grace. Even the strongest believers go through seasons of being in a spiritual desert."

Grace shook her head. "But I'm supposed to be the one helping Ethan, pointing him toward God. How can I do that if I don't even feel Him myself?"

"You don't have to have all the answers," Diana said softly. "You're human, Grace. And faith isn't about never doubting - it's about choosing to trust even when it feels hard."

Tears pricked Grace's eyes as her mom continued. "Have you talked to God about how you're feeling?"

"I've tried," Grace whispered. "But it feels like He's not listening,"

Her mom reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. "He is. Even when it feels like He's far away, He's still with you. And sometimes, the quiet season is where we grow the most."

That evening, Grace sat on her bed, staring at the blank pages of her journal. She wanted to pray, to pour out everything she was feeling, but the words wouldn't come.

Finally, she picked up her pen and wrote:

"Lord, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't feel You, and I'm scared. Please don't let me lose my faith. Help me trust You, even when I can't see the way forward. And please help me be what Ethan needs, because right now, I don't feel strong enough."

She stared at the words for a long moment before closing the journal and setting it aside.

The next day, Grace and Ethan met at the café. He was already waiting for her at their usual table, a notebook open in front of him and a Bible beside it.

"Hey," he said, smiling as she slid into the seat across from him. "You're just in time. I was about to ask you about this verse."

Grace forced a smile, but her heart felt heavy. As Ethan launched into his question, her mind drifted, the doubt still gnawing at her. She wanted to tell him, to let him know that she wasn't as strong as he thought she was. But the words stuck in her throat.

Later, as they walked back to their car, Ethan paused, glancing at her. "You okay?"

Grace hesitated, her hands tightening on the strap of her bag. "Yeah," she said softly. "Just tired."

Ethan didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "Well, if you need anything, I'm here."

The sincerity in his voice made her chest ache.

"Thanks," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

As she drove home, Grace couldn't shake the feeling that she was failing - not just Ethan, but herself and God.

A/N:

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