When God created dogs.

The Board of Planet Earth: Alright, God. What do you have for us this time?

God: You guys are gonna love this. It's called Dogs.

The Board of Planet Earth: What?

God: Dogs! Like my name spelled backwards, but without the S.

The Board of Planet Earth: What is Dogs?

God: They're canine companions.

The Board of Planet Earth: Hm...canines...like wolves?

God: Yeah...but HAPPY wolves. And smaller and more cute. Some of them have floppy ears. When they're hungry, they look up at you with their doughy eyes and their tongues hanging out. They'll mostly require belly rubs and treats.

The Board of Planet Earth: What else do they do?

God: Run around and sleep. Drink water...you know...Ugh! You're making me sound like an idiot!

The Board of Planet Earth: (look at each other and smirk) God, we know the universe revolves around you...but...we just think you could be using your talents for greater things.

God: This is blasphemy! I created you for Chrissake!

The Board of Planet Earth: It's just...you said cats were gonna be a big hit and now there's like a bunch of them running around making more of each other. All they do is bring you mice. Most of the time they're only half-dead.

God: But that's what they were bred for!

The Board of Planet Earth: The only people who like them are people who enjoy getting spontaneously clawed.

God: That was an anomaly. Dogs are different.

The Board of Planet Earth: (crosses arms and raises eyebrow) How so?

God: These animals you can TRAIN. They'll be able to do tricks over time. Like jump through hoops and...and roll over on command. They'll even play dead! And get this, the best part is that they'll LICK you!

The Board of Planet Earth: LICK? As in...with their tongues? God. I'm sorry. But we're going to have to deny this one.

God: What? No. I put in so much work. After years of evolutionary gene splicing and making it possible for them to look and behave differently from each other, this species is going to be amazing, I PROMISE you. They'll be like kids...but forever! They'll stay kids until they die! Don't you get it?

The Board of Planet Earth: You said you had other projects in the making?

God: Well, one of them was a natural geyser that spews fondue. Mother's Milk. Mother as in Mother Nature and Milk as in...you know, bodily excretions. The other one was a plant that eats mosquitoes.

The Board of Planet Earth: Awww...mosquitoes are cute. Why would you make a plant that eats them?

God: ... (stares, blankly)

The Board of Planet Earth: Since we only accept creations that are subservient to our needs, I'm afraid we'll just have to go with Dog.

God: DOGS. It's plural.

The Board of Planet Earth: All in favor?

(Everyone gives a thumbs up, except a red man with horns votes no, his thumb down as he grins menacingly)

God: You know, I never liked you, SATAN! (Security Guardian Angels hold God back and shove him out of the door) Why is he even on the board?!

The Board of Planet Earth: (to Security Guardian Angels) Okay, get him out of here.

The Board of Planet Earth: (to God) God, you had your say...NOW, GO MAKE DOG!

God: DOGS, it's plural! They come in packs!

And God went and created Dogs. And lo, humans were grateful.