System Im Too OP For This

The Dawn of the Unbothered

The universe, in a fit of cosmic boredom, decided to rearrange the furniture. Stars collided like hyperactive fireflies, galaxies spiraled into oblivion, and the very fabric of reality quivered like a bowlful of jelly in the hands of a particularly enthusiastic toddler.  Amidst this celestial game of cosmic billiards, on the windswept summit of Mount Taiyi, a figure materialized. This wasn't just any figure; this was Ling Tian, our protagonist, looking remarkably unimpressed with the whole "being born amidst universal upheaval" situation.
Inside Ling Tian's mind, the Supreme Ascension System was throwing a party that would make the gods of revelry weep with envy.

[Supreme Ascension System v.999.999 (Because We're Extra Like That) Activated!]
[Host: Ling Tian (Currently Resembling a Bored Cucumber)]
[Cultivation Level:  Mortal (Yeah, you're basically a nobody. For now.)]
[System Level: 1 (But I'm basically the Supreme Overlord of all Systems. Bow down, mortals!)]
[Shop: (Currently Stocked with... Absolutely Nothing. Get to work, slacker!)]
[Skills: (Locked. Earn some XP, newbie!)]
[Inventory: (Empty. Go find some treasures, you lazy bum!)]
[Missions: (Available! Time to get your grind on!)]
[Stats:]
[Strength: 1 (Can barely lift a feather. Pathetic.)]
[Agility: 1 (Slower than a snail in molasses. Yawn.)]
[Intelligence: 100 (Surprisingly smart for a newborn. Maybe there's hope for you yet.)]
[Charm: ??? (Unmeasurable.  Probably because you haven't opened your eyes yet.)]
[Luck: ∞ (Off the charts! This guy's gonna be trouble.)]
Ling Tian, oblivious to the System's incessant nagging, yawned with the force of a thousand typhoons, causing a minor avalanche on a nearby mountain. Meanwhile, Grand Elder Bai, the Taiyi Sect's most ancient and enigmatic elder, sensed a disturbance in the Force... or rather, the Qi. He teleported to the peak of Mount Taiyi, his white robes billowing dramatically in the wind, and found himself staring at a baby. A very bored-looking baby.

"Hmm," he mused, stroking his long white beard, which seemed to possess a life of its own, "a child appears amidst a cosmic anomaly? This is either a blessing from the heavens or a prank by that mischievous monkey king. Knowing my luck, it's probably the latter."
He gingerly picked up Ling Tian, who promptly sneezed on his face, causing his beard to twitch indignantly.

"Definitely a prank," Grand Elder Bai sighed, "but a surprisingly adorable one."
Part 2:  The Art of Laziness and the Path of Unintentional Destruction
Years passed like grains of sand through an hourglass, each grain a tiny explosion of experience in the life of Ling Tian.  He grew up amidst the serene beauty of Mount Taiyi, a place where the air hummed with ancient energy and the clouds whispered secrets of the universe.  Ling Tian, however, was more interested in discovering the optimal sleeping position for maximum comfort and minimal effort.

"Young Master Ling," Grand Elder Bai would say, his voice a gentle whisper that carried the weight of a thousand lifetimes, "your understanding of the Dao is truly remarkable! You grasp the essence of cultivation with an ease that defies logic!"
Ling Tian, meanwhile, was locked in a mental battle with his System, a battle that mostly involved him trying to convince the System that napping was a legitimate form of cultivation.
"System, why is everyone making such a fuss? Cultivating is so boring. Can't I just take a nap?"
[A nap? Seriously? You have the potential to become the greatest cultivator in all of existence, to transcend the very limits of reality, and you want to nap?  This is why humanity is doomed.]
"But naps are nice. And comfy. And they require minimal effort."

[Minimal effort? That's your motto, isn't it?  No wonder your stats are still so low.  Except for that ridiculous luck stat.  Seriously, how are you so lucky?  Did you cheat?]
Despite his inherent laziness and the System's constant complaining, Ling Tian progressed at an alarming rate. He absorbed knowledge like a sponge, mastered techniques with a single glance, and accidentally caused natural disasters whenever he got slightly annoyed.  He once sneezed and accidentally leveled a nearby forest, much to the dismay of the local squirrel population.