i did not wake up today to be mediocre‼️‼️

1.

I dont know why you are reading this, but hello, welcome, it is currently 2am and i cant sleep

Ive been struggling with sleeping a lot more lately, i just stay up and turn in bed like a rotisserie chicken until i just stay on my phone until i pass out pretty much

Sure i can take the medication that does help me fall asleep, but shits expensive, i dont want my mom to have to pay allat💔 she has enough medicines to buy

I feel really bad for her ngl, she takes care of everything at home. I really do want to help out more but i cant even really get out of my bed at this point it feels like

Plus recently ive just been feeling a lot shittier. Dysphoria, depression ig, lack of dick in two different ways
Sigh.

It could be due to the change in season, its winter now so its getting darker a lot more earlier in the day, and its so cold and it makes me want to hibernate like a bear

Being a bear would probably be amazing ngl...
Or a jellyfish i love jellyfish they are sososo cool

Ive been reading a shit ton on ao3, rn im mostly fixated on Mr. Villain's Day Off, which is a really good and funny slice of life/comedy series following a villain.. on his day off.... iike the title of it says......

Its really good though and Rooney is sososo cute💔💔 I just wish that mr villains day off was more popular, because currently, i can find a solid 10 fanfics. Well, there are definitely more, but a lot of them franklyyy... suck

I cant say much rn since my grammar in this is terrible, but it is 2 AM and this is just more like a journal for me because i dont want to bother my friends and shit by just yapping on and on about things they dont care about ehe.

But still, im picky with the fanfics i read😖 like i need there to be punctuation and these sorta like spaces and rows, cant remember the name rn but you get what i meannnn

I should definitely go sleep tbh

I dont really want to, writing this has made me feel a bit more at ease?? A bit more peaceful?? I guess, or smt like that

Sighhh i have exams this week and prolly a bit longer and i might just die, wish me luck💔