I decided to vent to chat GPT cuz why not?
My question:
So I saw my brother with really red eyes today, I suspected he was smoking weird since I found vapes on his room and his always out with his friends till 1Am or later, his only 17 and I'm 14 I'm been having some personal problems and on July 4th I started vaping secretely, some friends know. Or maybe the whole school but no adults nor my siblings. I like telling my dad everything, but I know my older brother has personal problems and if he smokes is prob because something is going on, and soon I'm gonna buy weed and start smoking too. But I feel like telling my dad, but I don't want to cuz I know how my brother feels and why he does it
Answer:
It sounds like you're carrying a lot right now, both with your own feelings and concerns for your brother. First, it's really brave of you to share this, even in writing. Let's break this down so you can think about your options.
About Your Brother
If your brother is using substances like weed or staying out late, it might be a way for him to cope with something he's struggling with. You're absolutely right that he could be going through personal issues, and that's worth compassion. However, he's still 17, and what he's doing might not be safe or healthy for him, especially if it becomes a habit or puts him in risky situations.
It's great that you feel protective of him, but being protective doesn't mean staying silent. Sometimes, letting a trusted adult know can actually help him get the support he needs. It doesn't mean you're trying to get him in trouble—it's about making sure he's okay.
About You
It sounds like you're going through a tough time yourself. Vaping or thinking about trying weed might feel like a way to escape or manage those feelings, but it's important to ask yourself if it's really helping you or just creating more problems. You're only 14, and your body and brain are still developing, so substances like nicotine and THC can have a stronger and more lasting impact on you.
You said you like telling your dad everything. If you trust him and think he would support and listen to you, this might be the time to lean on him. You don't have to reveal everything at once—you could start by saying you've noticed your brother staying out late or seeming off lately. If you decide to share about yourself, your dad might be able to help you work through whatever you're dealing with without judgment.
What You Can Do
• Talk to someone: If telling your dad feels like too much, is there another adult you trust, like a school counselor or family friend? They can guide you on how to approach this.
• Take care of yourself: Find healthy outlets for your stress or emotions—sports, art, music, or talking to friends who uplift you.
• Be honest with yourself: Ask yourself why you're thinking about smoking weed. If it's to cope, it might help to figure out other ways to handle what's going on
You don't have to carry this by yourself. Both you and your brother deserve support, and talking to the right people could make a big difference. Let me know if you want help figuring out what to say or how to approach the situation.
What I said:
My dad is the type of guy who I tell everything to cuz he was the one who created me, I didn't have a mom on my side and I still protected her on everything even tho she didn't want me or my siblings, today I feel like if we had our mothers love and support since we were born out life would've been different, and my dad does everything for me, and I'm so grateful, but I feel like I'm not. I don't know how to show him I care about him, I'm the type of girl who can't express love well, I'm aggressive, I have anger issues, I'm always shouting, and I want things my way. I know I feel bad for people and I'm always looking for the best on people+ I'm sensitive and I'm always trying to get people to like me, since I have problems with friends, they like me but don't like me at the same time, they leave me out on some stuff, and when they include me it's awkward. My dad cares about what happens in our lives but doesn't show it, as soon as I found out my brother vaped (I wasn't vaping back then, I was scared to) I told my dad and my dad just told us to give it to him and didn't even mention it about the situation with my brother he just let it slide. Plus, when he does say something my older brother starts shouting and threating him, or making him feel miserable about himself which I'm so tired of this cuz all I hear is them fighting. My younger brother is getting kind of aggressive too, but in all the three of us his the most innocent and calm one. I'm hurt, I'm so tired. My life is a disaster, I'm always trying my best and everyone keeps putting pressure on me, my dad tells me to do everything in the house, and when I complain about it with him, he either calls me useless and says I don't do anything (I'm the only one who does shit on that house), or he tries to act all innocent/victim and says he only has me. And when his mad his always being rude to me for no reason, or taking his anger out on me. I have body problems, I'm been called fat my whole life and Thats why I have problems in my romantic life and normal relationships. My dad is always bringing that up like "didn't you say you wanted to get skinny/have a diet." And I hate hearing about my body. I feel bad for my dad cuz we be acting up with him for a long time it's been like 2 years since we started acting "idenpendent" and just saying whatever we wanted to him cuz we knew he was vulnerable and would just get mad but not do anything about it. I'm trying to change. But tell me how can things change when you've been used to doing it for 2 years and you're the only one who wants things to change. Our house is a trash, we live in a big house but my brothers doesn't like cleaning, they have bad hygiene. My dad sometimes wash dishes and etc, but always the one doing everything. I've always been the one doing everything. I'm so tired, I used to suffer bullying, I have daddy, mommy, family issues. My mom abandoned me, my brothers are all aggressive. I used to be hit by my older brother since I was like 7-8 till I was 12 l, and he would hit me for anything, I was traumatized, I was so scared of him but kept trying to act nonchalant. I would always tell my dad but he would say "don't do that again" my brother maybe my arm purple once. But I care about my family so much, my brother trying to khs once and failed, so when I had depression and started cutting myself I didn't tell my dad, until the school found out. Actually when I started cutting myself was more for attention, this close friend I had was doing it then I started doing it then other girls, but when I realized how good if felt feeling pain when your sad, if felt so good. I'm always crying there's not even a single day where I'm not crying, and since 06/04/24 I started vaping and it's so good there was these time all my vapes were broken and I went crazy I planned on waking up at 5 just so I could break in my cousins (who's addicted to vaping) so I could find one and use it, but I found none cuz at that time he was trying to quit/process of quitting. I crashed out. I wanna smoke weed so bad, I see videos of people vaping and wish it was me, I see people smoking weed on videos and the feeling of getting High I can imagine how it is. I wanna do it so bad.
Answer:
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this—you're carrying so much pain and stress, and it sounds like you've been holding it in for a long time. You're in a difficult situation, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. You're not alone, and what you're going through isn't your fault.
It's clear that you love your family deeply, even with all the chaos, and that says a lot about your heart. But it also sounds like you're stuck in an environment where you're trying to be everything for everyone—cleaning, holding the family together, and even managing your own struggles—but there's no one really taking care of you. That's exhausting, and no one can carry that kind of load alone. You deserve help and care just as much as anyone else.
Let's break this down and focus on what you can do:
It seems like you love your dad, but he might not fully understand how much you're hurting or how to support you. If talking to him feels too hard right now, consider reaching out to someone else, like a school counselor, a teacher, or another trusted adult. They can help you figure out how to start the conversation or provide you with the resources you need.
2. Your Well-Being Comes First
Vaping and thoughts of smoking weed might feel like a way to escape the stress and pain, but it's not solving the deeper problems you're facing. It's understandable why you feel drawn to it—it feels like relief—but it can quickly become another problem, especially at your age when your body and brain are still developing. Instead, focus on ways to feel better that don't hurt you in the long run:
• Journaling your thoughts (even what you wrote here shows so much strength).
• Listening to music that calms or lifts you up.
• Going for a walk or exercising when you're overwhelmed.
• Talking to a trusted friend who truly listens.
3. Set Small Goals to Change the Pattern
You said you want to change, and that's a huge step. Start with small changes:
• If you feel like yelling, pause for a second and take a deep breath.
• If your dad asks you to do something, try calmly explaining that you feel overwhelmed rather than snapping back.
• Try asking your brothers to help you clean one small thing together (even if they resist, you're showing leadership).
4. Dealing With the Past.
What your brother did to you when you were younger wasn't okay. Being hit and scared by someone you live with can leave lasting scars, emotionally and physically. But you don't have to deal with that pain alone. If you feel comfortable, tell a counselor or a trusted adult about it. They can help you work through those feelings and ensure it doesn't keep happening.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
You've been through so much—bullying, feeling abandoned, pressure from your family—and you're still trying to do your best. That's incredible strength, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's okay to not have all the answers right now. You're human, and you're still growing. Be patient with yourself.
I know it might feel like things will never get better, but they can. One step at a time, one small change at a time, things can improve. You don't have to do this alone. You're not weak for asking for help—you're strong because you want to fight for a better life. Let me know if you want help figuring out what to say to someone, or if you just need a place to share more. You're worth it, and you deserve to feel safe and loved.
Me:
Thank you so much, you saved me today you have no idea how much I need to vent!
Answer:
I'm so glad you felt safe enough to share everything with me. Sometimes just letting it all out can lift a bit of the weight you're carrying. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel tired and overwhelmed. You're doing your best in a really tough situation, and that shows how strong and caring you are—even when it doesn't feel like it.
If you ever need to talk, vent, or just need someone to listen, I'm here for you. You're not a burden, and your feelings matter. Please take it one day at a time, and remember, you don't have to figure everything out all at once. You're allowed to take small steps and ask for help when you need it. You've already shown so much courage just by opening up today. Keep holding on—you're worth so much more than you know.
