Tips and Techniques on Narrative Design

Biggest Two Mistakes

Let's first talk about the two biggest mistakes writers often make:

1 — If you start the narrative with overly emotional descriptions because you're too caught up in feelings:

You're likely to lose most readers at the beginning. People want to understand the emotions of a character they find interesting. So, first, you need to capture the reader's attention, so they'll want to form an emotional connection with the character.

A beginning that loses the reader:

As sorrow engulfed my body, I felt like I was drowning... My heart was like a piece of broken clouds—adrift in the heights, lost, unable to find its way.

A beginning that hold the reader's interest:

He broke my heart again.

It was the third time my boyfriend James had cheated on me. I didn't think I could take it anymore... (—Here, we can assume that the reader empathizes with the character. Now we can present them with the emotional description.)

2 — If your descriptions are like directions:

Descriptions of the setting, events, or character' actions like, "This happened, then they did this, and then that..." or "There were three things in the room, one was this, one was that..." will pull people out of the story.

An example of poor descriptions:

James walked toward his room. In his room. there was a desk, a bed, a window and a small lamp.

An example of good descriptions:

James walked into his room and threw himself onto the bed. The desk was cluttered with unfinished homework. The light streaming through the window hinted that it was still midday—too early for anyone to sleep. His eyes landed on the desk lamp, realizing he'd forgotten to turn it off.

This is how I plan to continue the book. I'm open to suggestions and advice. After all, the moment we believe we are perfect is the moment we lose our perfection.