since our eyes first met - Minsung

챕터thank you

»Minho?« I asked as we both sat in our room. I was sitting on my bed, leaning against the wall and hugging my Leebit tight, while he was sitting cross-legged on his bed, watching something on his laptop.

He looked up at me and pulled one of his AirPods out. »Yeah?«

»Thank you,« I said, looking away.

Minho smiled and put his laptop away to face me. »Sure, you're welcome. It was the least I could do after I wasn't there for you yesterday.« He sighed, and I looked at him again. Something told me he was blaming himself for my panic attack.

It wasn't like it wasn't his fault, but at least not entirely. I was just stressed, and maybe, just maybe, I was afraid of something... Ugh, never mind. But he couldn't blame himself, and I couldn't either, and I wasn't going to. I couldn't blame him for my panic attack. He's my best friend.

»Are you blaming yourself for what happened yesterday?« I asked him, and he looked at me with sad eyes.

»I'm sorry. I really think it's my fault. I wasn't there when you had the panic attack, and when you called me, I didn't pick up. Instead, I was hanging out with Jieun. I could have been there for you, and maybe the panic attack wouldn't have been that bad,« Minho answered, rubbing his hand over his eyes. »I'm so sorry.«

I shook my head. »No, Minho, no. It wasn't your fault. I was just stressed and overthinking things, just like before. It's not your fault. You've never caused any of my panic attacks.« I looked him deep in the eyes and saw a hint of warmth and something else. »Really? You're not blaming me?«

Minho's eyes softened as he studied me. For a moment, neither of us spoke. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable, but it was heavy, like the air before a storm. I could tell he still wasn't entirely convinced, but I had to make him understand.

»You're my best friend, Minho,« I said softly, sitting up a little straighter. »You've always been there for me. You didn't cause any of this. I just... I just lost control for a moment, and it wasn't your fault.«

He lowered his gaze, his fingers twitching as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Finally, he let out a long breath and nodded slowly. »I just... I hate seeing you like that, you know? It's hard not to feel like I could've done more.«

I reached out and placed a hand on his, squeezing gently. »You've done enough, Minho. More than enough. You're here now, and that's all I need.«

He gave me a small smile, the kind that didn't quite reach his eyes but was still full of warmth. He squeezed my hand back and then pulled his hand away, standing up and stretching. »Well, if you're sure... then I guess I'll stop beating myself up about it.«

I smiled back, though I knew he wasn't fully convinced. He was a perfectionist, always holding himself to impossibly high standards. But that was one of the things I loved about him, even if it drove me crazy sometimes.

Suddenly we could hear loud laughing from Hyunjin and Felix and screaming from Seungmin.

»I guess they are back« Minho said with a slight smile and I nod as I stand up and walked over to the door to greet them. But before I opened the door I turned around again. »Um... Could we maybe not talk about the panic attack earlier in front of them. Chan is just going to be worried when we would tell them.«

»Sure.« Minho answered with a smile and leaned back against the wall and put his AirPod back in.

But as soon as I opened the door of the room I almost got overrun by Seungmin running away from an angry Chan that was shouting »Don't ever call me that again, you puppy!!«