For Hyunwoo, Haein's safety is everything for him. As he may not know it, but he redeemed himself already. He redeemed himself in every way possible. He apologized for the fact that he forgot how much he loves Haein and that's not his fault, but the situation they are in. For him, the way the sun rises tells him that a new beginning is happening. That after what they've been through, they can always start a new memories to look back together.
Haein may not remember everything but her heart knows. Her heart knows what it wants and it's Hyunwoo to be by her side. She knows how hard it was for Hyunwoo to always be the one to adjust because she can't remember. She can feel it. She knows it.
They came back to their old house. As a respect to Haein who still can't remember everything, Hyunwoo decided to sleep on separate room. Haein agreed. She decided to take the master's bedroom while Hyunwoo decided to sleep in the room of their first child. Haein may not remember it but her heart always aches whenever she sees something that can remind her of the baby.
Haein woke up in the middle of the night when she felt thirsty. She decided to go to the kitchen to drink some water. When she was about to go back to her room, she saw that Hyunwoo's room is open. She made her way to the door to close it. When she reached the door, a sudden pang hit her heart. "What is happening to me?" She thought. She decided to look around and saw Hyunwoo's peacefully sleeping. His mouth were slightly open and his hair are messy. "Cute" She thought. She won't denied it. She won't deny that the first time she saw Hyunwoo after losing her memory a sudden thought came to her mind,
"He's definitely my type. How come I divorced him?"
She then decided to leave but when she was about to turn off the lights, something caught her attention.
It's a one piece glow in the dark sticker. A sudden pang suddenly hit her again, this time it hurts so much. She feels dizzy and her eyes were almost bloodshot. A sudden memory came to her mind. "How many weeks till we get to see the baby, Doctor?" That's Hyunwoo's voice. It's full of happiness. "It is due on October 31, Congratulations Mr. & Mrs." An unfamiliar voice was heard. "October 31, that's a great day" That's her voice, she know it for sure. She was pregnant? Trying to gather all the voices she heard, a sudden memory flashed through her eyes. It was her and Hyunwoo. They were fighting in a room full of baby clothes and stuff. "How could you move your stuff without even telling me?" That's her. Haein after losing their baby. She's so hurt. Her tone is accusatory. She's hurt that she just emptied their unborn child's nursery and knowing that her husband decided to move away from her as well.
"You never told me you were emptying this room either" Said Hyunwoo. He's also in pain as her. He's pained that they've lost their much awaited child and the fact that she didn't even consulted him before removing the things from the nursery. He didn't even get his closure to their baby. He's angry and upset, he's so hurt that he doesn't even know what to feel anymore. He doesn't know how to get through it. He wants her to acknowledge his pain but knowing Haein, she shielded her heart.
"What are you getting at? Are you blaming me for the miscarriage?" Haein said. He never imagined that Haein would want him to blame her. She's in so much pain that she failed to noticed to have faith for their love. She is hurt by his decision to move out that's why she takes it out on him. The classical study of saying something to completely annihilate the other when you're the one who's hurt.
"What are you saying? I never thought of that way." The extreme softness and the absence of anger in his voice is evident. His anger and pain seeps back when he confesses to her, "I'm just sad as you-"
"Don't lie. I know you want to say that it's my fault" Her voice broke. She let her past traumas catch her up. Her fears, her pains, her assumptions. They all won. It played a big part to driving them apart.
"Forget it. I can't even talk any sense into you." Hyunwoo stated. That made her heart broke, even more.
Slowly, Haein open her eyes as she remembers everything little by little. A sudden rush come through her eyes that made her sob even more harder and louder. Those are the days when she blames herself for losing their own child, for failing to be a mother, for questioning her worth. Memories of their old love starts to rush through her mind. Starting from how they met, their first date, the day Hyunwoo proposes to her, the day of their wedding, the day when their marriage starts to fall apart up to the recent problems they are now facing. Her sobs are more louder, she tries to tone it down so it won't disturb her sleeping husband but it can't. The pain is unbearable. It feels like something is going to burst if she won't let it out.
Hyunwoo, who is peacefully sleeping was disturbed by her sobs. He was confused on what's happening, on why is his wife crying on his bedroom's floor. He rushed to her asking "What's happening? What happened? Why are you crying, Haein-ah?" "Are you okay?" Clouded by his worries, Haein decided to let her head up and look at Hyunwoo. "Hyunwoo, I remember everything." "I'm sorry. I took so long" Hyunwoo doesn't know what to say. He is happy, of course but there's a part on his brain that's wishing for Haein not to remember everything, he doesn't want Haein to remember everything that pained her in the past. He's just going to keep it all by himself.
"I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry that we never really got to talk about our child. It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Hyunwoo-ah" That's it. That's the cue that his tears are been waiting form. Hearing her sobs and cries just break his heart more and more. Hearing her apologizing for something that she doesn't want to happen. It's not her fault, never really.
They were both hurting, yes. To the point that they took their own ways to cope up the loss of their unborn child. Hyunwoo, on the other hand is having so much regrets. He's in pain not because of the topic but because he missed his chance. If he only embraced Haein that time instead of going on his own way. Even if Haein pushed him away.
"I'm sorry Haein-ah"
"I'm sorry I became a coward. I'm sorry because I forgot how much I love you."
"I lost you the way we lost our child. We lost each other instead of embracing our flaws. I'm sorry. I should've been there for you." Hyunwoo stated. He's crying but still trying to compose himself. This is what they needed. A communication. They always needed communication because both of them are caught up by their traumas. He realizes how hard it must for Haein, for being alone trying to move forward each day. He knows how hard it is for her. The pressure that her family is putting on her, mostly her mom. She grew up without feeling the mother's love. The societal pressure of becoming a mother when her own mother neglected her. She's afraid. He can see it, but choose to ignore because he's afraid that Haein will push him away but he doesn't know that one word from him, Haein will jump for an embrace. She's willing to forget everything just to have her husband by her side.
Haein stopped sobbing. She look at Hyunwoo, who's looking at the ceiling, where the one piece glow in the dark sticker is placed. She cupped his face, making him look at her. He can't look at her. He's ashamed. He's ashamed to the thought that he should be the one person Haein could hold on to, not by herself.
"It's okay. You can look at me. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I'm sorry I put the blame on you. I was waiting for you, to hug me. To embrace all my pain. I was afraid, of becoming a mother but I'm willing to go through that because I have you. I'm sorry I pushed you away, yeobo." She said while looking straight to Hyunwoo's eyes. Hyunwoo couldn't take it any longer, he embraces Haein with so much love and yearning. He's been waiting for this. "I'm sorry Haein-ah. I left you alone. That was suppoed to be our battle together but I thought you pushed me away. I should've known better. I'll be better from now on. You can lean on me now."
You can feel that their heart is at peace because of the conversation they are having. The big lump in their heart has been removed. They can finally breathe with each other's support. The warmth of their hug, the way they yearn for each other. After their conversation, they decided to go to bed. To their bedroom, where their memory lies. Hyunwoo tucked Haein and hug her. Haein, on the other side is on Hyunwoo's embrace. She can feel his heartbeat and it's like a music to her ears. "I like us this way. I can hear your heartbeat" She said while hugging Hyunwoo back. After a moment, the two fell asleep with so much relieft they have on their hearts. Little did they know, a star was watching them and finally let a happy smile. The glow in the dark sticker suddenly lights up indicating that she/he is finally free. That their parents are now okay, they can now leave with peace.
May we all find love that is beautiful & fulfilling that in the end of the day, even if you hate each other, you'll just find your own heart following the path back to each other's embrace.
