"Are you going to leave again?"
"Never."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely, my love."
I took in a sharp, silent breath. It was cold. The chilly wind nipped at my soft skin. My barefeet began going numb. But I wouldn't move from where I was. I was standing infront of him, in the icey snow, having him hold me. I buried my chapped face in his t-shirt. He didn't have a jacket on. He didn't care for the cold right now. It was like it wasn't phasing him whatsoever.
I wanted to believe his words. "Never." and "Absolutely, my love.", but how can I, when it's happened once before? I had no idea what happened to him, or where he went. He avoided me, ignored me. I tried my hardest to keep him near. He left to go somewhere one day, a trip of some sort, and that was that. Never heard from him for at least over five months. He will never truly know how bad he hurt me. Because I won't give him any idea of what I did and what I went through when he was gone. Always worrying about him constantly, I had no appetite, I rarely slept, I cried myself to sleep for the first two months every night, after those two months passed, I went numb. Empty. I felt nothing. For anyone. Or anything. I didn't care for life at the time. I was hurt. The only way for me to cope was to numb the pain, and try to forget his existence. I couldn't though. It was impossible. He's my life. To forget him, would be like forgetting my own existence. He's purpose. He's everything. And now...it's happening again it feels like. He's slowly slipping from my grasp. It wasn't as quick as last time, but it feels as if it is happening. And I don't know what I'll do...I can't go through something like that. If I could make time stop where it's at, I would. I would make it end with me and him, holding each other, in the wet, cold snow. Forever. But nope, I can't...
I look up at him. Looking into his eyes, I can tell he's worried. Worried and terrified.
"Baby...what's wrong?" I ask, concern trickling through my voice.
"Nothing...we should get in the truck where it's warm. C'mon, beautiful." he says firmly, trying to hide his mask or misery and sadness. I follow him, doing as he pleases. I want nothing, but to make him happy. He wraps his arm around me, and helps me to the truck, he opens the door and I climb in. He goes around the other side and gets in the driver's seat. He starts the truck and revs the engine, heating up the system. He turns on the heat and I lay back in my seat. He grabs a blanket he keeps in his truck from the backseat. He usually let's his younger brother use it when he's with him during this time.
I curl into a ball in the passenger's seat, with my arms hugging my legs, and my face leaning against the seat, facing towards him. He begin's to pull forward into drive. The sound of the purring engine soothes me. I hear the cold breeze outside slide smoothly against the truck's windows. I'm calm once again. I shut my eyes as he turns the radio on to a quiet country station. We both listen. I open my eyes and find him staring back at me. A smile tugs at the corner of his finely-shaped-lips. A wave of comfort fills my entire body, nerve for nerve. I'm safe.
