The Way it Feels💓

Remain a Friend

"I don't know... I don't know why," I whispered, my voice faltering as I lowered my head, feeling a lump form in my throat. I didn't want to ruin Gyeltshen's mood—not when he was so warm and comforting. He hugged me tighter, his strong arms wrapping around me like a shield, and gently rubbed my hair. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything until you're ready," he reassured, his voice soft and steady, grounding me.

I took a shaky breath, gathering my courage, and slowly lifted my head. His eyes met mine—deep, patient, full of understanding.

"It's just... I didn't know Tenzin had feelings for me," I said, the words tasting bitter as they left my mouth. I felt the weight of the confession, unsure how it would affect everything between us.

Gyeltshen's grip on me tightened for a moment, and his face registered pure shock. "What? Did he propose?!" His voice was a mix of surprise and disbelief, and I could feel his tension in the way he spoke.

I pulled away slightly, still feeling the heat of his embrace, but needing a little space to think. I pressed my face back to his chest, trying to bury my thoughts in his warmth. "No... I just found out," I murmured, my voice cracking. "I don't know what to do with this... I'm so confused."

He pulled back just enough to meet my gaze, his eyes soft, but there was a flicker of concern there. "Are you angry?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, afraid of what his reaction might be.

Gyeltshen shook his head, his expression turning thoughtful. "No," he said firmly, as if trying to reassure both of us. Then, a more hesitant question left his lips. "Do you like him?"

My heart skipped a beat. The question caught me off guard. The fear I hadn't wanted to face suddenly rushed in, and I was terrified of how Gyeltshen might react. "No!" I said quickly, almost too quickly, to make him understand. "I love him as a friend. It's just... it must have been so hard for him, all these years, loving someone who doesn't feel the same. I get it. I really do."

Gyeltshen exhaled deeply, as if he'd been holding his breath too. His hand found my head again, rubbing my hair softly. "Then it's okay," he said, his voice steady. "It's going to be okay."

I nodded slowly, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. His calmness was a balm to my racing thoughts. I let out a long breath, inhaling the scent of him—woodsy, warm, comforting. I felt safe with him, but deep down, the confusion about Tenzin still lingered, haunting me.

Later, we parted ways for lunch. I went to the cafeteria, where I found Tenzin sitting alone, shoveling food into his mouth without a care. I grabbed my tray and hesitated for a moment before walking over to him.

As I sat down beside him, he glanced at me, but didn't say anything. The silence between us felt different now—heavier, charged with the unspoken tension of everything that had happened. He kept eating as if nothing was wrong, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted.

"Where were you?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though the words felt forced. "I was looking for you."

He didn't look at me, still focused on his food. "I was here," he replied with his usual nonchalance.

He suddenly reached over to grab the water next to me. I froze, caught off guard by his sudden movement, my heart skipping a beat. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. He drank the water without saying a word, and the silence between us grew thicker, like something was unsaid, unresolved. It was the first time in a long while that we were eating together without any easy conversation, no shared jokes or teasing.

"What happened?" Tenzin finally asked, his voice a little softer, a hint of concern breaking through.

I turned to look at him, but my gaze darted away almost immediately, my heart pounding. I remembered his conversation with Tshoki—the one that had made everything so much more complicated. I couldn't meet his eyes. "Nothing," I said, though I could hear the lie in my own voice.