November smth 2024
I still keep thinking about how Aaron would adore to sit and listen to hours wprth pf stories from rehearsals. I wonder how he would feel if i told him im assistant to the manager of the entire project. No scratch that, i know he'd be proud. But i feel like his pride would push that away and make him turn away from me.
Was it so wrong of me to step out of his circle? was it a wrong decision? I keep dwelling over it as if i forget how horrible i felt in his arms. How it just wouldnt work anymore and we both knew it. And yet here i am.
I dont. Long and pine for him the way i used to. I guess i just miss my best friend. He was, afterall, in a sea of people who didnt understand, the only person to see me raw and bare and still welcome me with a friendship.
I keep thinking about how he would react to me on stage. Would he beam at me from the audience? Would he run up to give me a hug and congratulate me? Or would he watch from afar because he couldn't bare to be within 6 feet of me? Would he even watch at all? I told him to watch. I hope he watches. I miss him so much.
