Every day for the last week I have driven to this house and stared at the door, trying to get the courage to ring the doorbell. I think today is the day I do it. I don't even know why I want to do this in person. Last time we had a confrontation it turned physical and he blacked my eye. Since that day it just hasn't been the same. Every time he raises his hand for anything I flinch and flashback to the moment he hit me before. I see his fist coming full force for my face. I can't do this. Maybe I should go get somebody just in case. No! I got to do this alone. It has gone on too long. Maybe I can text him or send a "Dear John" letter. I would think this wouldn't be so hard. Besides the physical abuse, the verbal abuse was so much worst. I hear the laughter of his friends echoing every time they are in my presence from all the times he humiliated me in from of them. Maybe I can call him. That's not too impersonal. If I call he can't try and convince me to stay with his kind words he always fills my head with after every argument and I won't be tempted by the sweet smell if his cologne or the taste of his soft kiss. Just thinking about it I'm ready to change my mind. Ok, I can do this, all fear to the side. It's now or never. I have to claim my life back. Walking to this door feels like eternity. The cars going by seem so slow and the squirrels playfully chasing each seem to moving in slow motion. My legs are starting to get heavy. I’m almost there. I can do this. Waiting for him to open the door I can feel my heart dropping and eyes filling with tears. As he opens the door all my thoughts go out of my head and I can't do anything but embrace him tightly. The feel of his arms around me calms me, as does the sound of his heartbeat I can hear as I press my head to his chest. I can't do this. I let go and rush to my car. I guess I'll try again tomorrow.
