✧.* letters addressed to the fire // drake parker

chapter eight

chapter 008. -- letters addressed to the fire. // john wayne - cigarettes after sex

drake had his eyes fixed on the ceiling above him, hands folded on his chest. he looked over at the clock on his bedside table, grimacing when he realized how late it was. 3 in the morning. school was not going to be easy tomorrow. 

"josh?" drake whispered out, hoping the boy wasn't asleep. he heard gentle rustling around in the other bed, followed by a disapproving groan. "josh, are you awake?" he tried once more, turning over on his side. 

the dark haired boy sighed loudly, "i am now." 

drake turned back over and laid on his back, biting his lip. "do you think it's my fault mindy and nova aren't friends anymore? i mean, what if mindy is right? what if i'm no good?" the boy felt his chest get heavy, the weight of a million worlds pulling him deeper into the mattress beneath him. he knew deep down that mindy was a horrible friend, and that nova didn't blame him for any of it. "everyone thinks it's so surprising that i could treat someone right." he pauses, "was i really that horrible of a person before?" 

josh sat up, furrowing his brow. "drake, you're the best brother i could ever ask for, even if sometimes you can be an idiot." the boy said, inhaling softly, trying to figure out how to word his next statement without hurting drake's feelings. "but, you hurt a lot of people. even if that isn't who you really are, it's all people know, y'know? mindy is a jerk, you and i know that, and nova definitely knows that. i mean look at how happy she's been since she cut mindy off."

the brunette nodded, breathing in deeply, trying to find footing for his emotions. "yeah, thanks man." drake spoke softly. the silence was deafening. he couldn't bare it. "i never wanted to hurt anyone."

"i know." 

"it's just--" drake stopped mid sentence, weighing his options. what would josh think of him if he knew about his dead beat dad? would he think drake was weak? josh wouldn't think anything bad of drake, right? "it's just because of my dad." 

josh frowned, "really? i haven't heard much about him. i figured it was for a good reason, though."

"he wasn't the best to my mom and my sister." drake sighed, swallowing thickly. "or to me." he admitted. he tried to forgive his father for everything he put him through, but he could never forgive him for the pain his sister and mother had to endure. "he would scream and yell at my mom, and it would scare megan so bad she'd sleep in my room on the floor. she was so little. and all she wanted was for him to like her." he felt hot tears pricking his eyes, his fists balled at his sides, gripping the bedsheets in attempt to ground himself. "and that was all i wanted too. he used to take me out to play catch when i was super little, but when i got older he lost interest in me. in all of us. he cheated on my mom a million times. we were all chasing him. i just wanted those girls to like me, but i didn't want to get hurt. i was just... afraid." 

the darker haired boy sat there, drinking in the words drake had just poured out into the world. his face was sad, twisted in concern. before josh could stop himself, he was up out of bed, making his way to drake's side of the room. "come here, man." 

drake hesitated, looking up at josh from his spot in bed. but after a moment the embarrassment flooded away, and he finally put his trust in his brother, who had been there for him through everything ever since they met. drake couldn't believe he treated josh so horribly. the brunette got up, tears staining his cheeks. "hug me brotha." he chuckled sadly, and josh let out a soft laugh, pulling him into his embrace. 

"everything's gonna be okay. i'm really sorry about your dad. genuinely, it's horrible." josh said, care laced through every word. they pulled away from the hug, and josh patted his shoulder. "you're the best brother i've ever had."

"i'm the only brother you've ever had, josh." drake smiled.

josh nodded, "yes, this is true." 

drake laughed, nudging him. "you're ridiculous. and you're the best brother i've ever had. and you're my best friend. love you, man."

josh sniffled dramatically, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. "wow, i love you too." 

the brunette rolled his eyes, "goodnight, josh." 

the darker haired boy smiled and made his way back over to his bed. "goodnight, drake." 

word count: 794

a/n: HELLO GUYS!!! thank macy for forcing me to write this chapter because she said i am papa and i felt compelled to write. sorry it's a little shorter than usual, i really wanted to focus on drake and josh in this chapter and kinda flesh them out!!! hope this is good.