The Sweetest Fruit ( Tomboy 🏳️‍🌈Love Story )

48. I still love you

Sonia

"Are you going to keep the baby?"

Aliza looks at me, sitting upright on the bean bag. "I'm still thinking about it."

Dark circles frame her lively eyes, and I wonder what kind of karma saddled us with these kinds of lovers. Whoever said bad things happen to good people was right. How can someone as sweet as Aliza be in this situation?

She is kind, loving, and now weighed down by the responsibility of deciding whether to bring life into this world or not. To top it all off, she’ll be doing it alone.

"My mum said she’ll support me if I decide to keep it," she adds, rubbing her stomach.

I smile, resting my head on her hip. This is insane.

"That's really nice of her," I mumble. She lets out a chuckle, something I haven’t heard from her in weeks.

"Yeah, she even has a plan," she says.

I wonder what I’d do if I were in Aliza’s shoes. There wouldn’t be anyone to support me. I’d be completely alone, and for some reason, I’m glad I’m gay. No matter how much MJ hurt me, I wouldn’t want to be in Aliza’s shoes. "You’re really lucky, you know."

"Yeah, really lucky," she repeats, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That’s why I’m pregnant at nineteen, and the father of my child says he wants nothing to do with me or his unborn baby."

I pat her lightly. "Not like that. I mean that even through all this, you still have someone who supports you."

"If you put it that way."

"Enough about my problems. Are you ever going to talk to MJ?" she asks, raising a brow.

"Nope."

"It’s been a week, Sonia. Shouldn’t you at least hash things out with her?"

I groan, dropping my head. "No, there’s nothing to talk about, and I don’t ever want to see her again," I say, feeling the knot in my chest tighten.

"You live in the same room," she counters.

I let out a sigh of exasperation. "I’m moving out—or better yet, dropping out of school."

Aliza laughs, swatting the back of my head.

"You should talk it out. It’ll be good for you," she says softly.

"What if I talk to her, and she pulls me under with her sweet smile and stupid, stupid attitude?"

"Then let it be. At least your girlfriend wants you back."

I roll my eyes and climb onto the bed. This place has been my refuge since everything went down. If I didn’t have Aliza, I’d be homeless.

"It’s been a tough four months," I mumble, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"Damn right."

This has been our routine—wallowing in bed and gorging on every unhealthy snack we can find. Focusing on her problems has been a distraction I welcome with open arms. Because when I close my eyes, I see her face. I see her smile, and I start wondering if any of it was ever real.

Did she ever love me?

Was she just playing with me?

Taunting her stupid brother’s girlfriend?

I wipe a stray tear as Aliza comes out of the bathroom.

"Let’s go to the store," she says, pouting.

"I don’t want to go outside," I mumble, turning my face to the window.

"We’ve been cooped up in here for days. Let’s just get back to civilization, even if it’s only for a minute," she says, tugging at my hand.

Hesitantly, I give in. Now we’re walking to Quickmart, holding hands. It’s like the world is spinning while ours has stopped.

We enter the store, picking out random items and tossing them into the cart. My heart is racing for no reason—maybe because a part of me wants to see MJ, while another part doesn’t.

By the time we’re done shopping, my head is throbbing. My eyes dart around, searching for a glimpse of her, but there’s none. Aliza notices my distress but says nothing. I continue wallowing.

Did she move on?

Is she even looking for me?

The holiday is spent in total misery—every minute of every day wondering where she is and what she’s doing.

Today is the first day back at school. I could change rooms, but I don’t.

Aliza decided to keep the baby, and her stomach has grown slightly. I’m so proud of her for making that decision. The problem is, I’ll be spending the year alone.

Unless you reconcile with MJ, my head adds.

I huff and climb the hostel stairs. People are hugging each other, smiling from ear to ear, while I’m a bundle of nerves. My hands are sweaty, and I can barely breathe by the time I reach my door.

32

I pull out my key, but the door is slightly ajar. Pushing it open wider, I see MJ sitting on my bed.

Relief washes over me as I take in her face. She looks even more beautiful. She’s wearing a black shirt and dark pants, her hair back to its original color.

Time seems to stop as she looks at me, taking me in like a prized possession she lost and can’t believe she’s getting back.

"Hi," she says, running a hand through her hair.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Now would be the perfect time to run, but I don’t.

"Hi."

Her shoulders relax slightly as she moves further into the room. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah."

I sit on the bed, barely looking at her. The mattress dips as she sits beside me, her scent wrapping around me like a blanket I’ve missed for months.

"I’m sorry, Sonia," she says, clearing her throat. "I never meant to hurt you like that."

"But you did."

"I know, and I’m so embarrassed about it."

"That’s not enough for me to forgive you," I say, my voice rising.

"And I don’t want you to," she says, turning to face me.

"You don’t?"

"No. You’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t ever want to make you feel like you owe me anything."

I start to speak, but she cuts me off.

"I’ve hurt you time and time again, made you cry more times than I can count. I don’t want to ever do that again."

Her eyes glisten under the overhead lights. "If you don’t want to forgive me, I’ll understand."

The knot in my chest tightens as I wipe a tear from my cheek.

"MJ."

"Yes, Sonia?"

"I’ve already forgiven you, but—"

"You’re scared I might hurt you again," she finishes for me.

I nod, looking away.

"What now?" I ask, my vision of the future blurred.

"I don’t know," she says. "What I do know is that I love you more than anything else in this entire world."

"I love you too," I blurt out.

She tilts my head to look at her, our foreheads touching. "What do we do, Sony?" she asks, running her hands through my hair.

"I don’t know."

She sighs, her warm breath tickling my face. Then her lips press against mine, hesitant at first, before deepening the kiss.