Silence. That's all that is.
I can only hear my own heavy breathing and my disturbingly loud thoughts that won't go away. That is exactly what keeps me up at night.
My thoughts. At times they're my bestfriend, they were there when everybody else treated me like air and they helped me, but now my thoughts had turned in to my heaviest burden.
It's the piece of me that keeps me from being me to the fullest.
My thoughts set me aside from the rest of the world. They create this illusion of me being completly alone and an outcast.
Which I'm not, really. I'm introverted, yes, but I'm not antisocial or anything.
I can't fully explain how empty my life feels.
It's like there is constantly a lump in my stomach that takes everything I love.
A pit where my happiness go to die.
Nobody can fully understand it either.
Noone that I've met atleast.
This big world scares me, there is so many people that can hurt me and that will if I give them the chance. And I've already had my dose of mental abuse for an eternity.
Still my friends question why I rather be alone at times and don't want to come out with them.
Music helps, sometimes.
Sometimes it's just like a sad soundtrack to my life.
Everybody around me is so happy.
I didn't know it was possible to fail at life specially not if you're not playing.
But I guess I'm the one to do the impossible.
I don't have a deathwish I just have a wish to know how people would react to my death.
Is that selfish? I have lost all ability to even care if I'm honest.
The silence is slowly killing can someone please reach out and talk to me. Destroy the silence in my head forever.
