(Based on my current school experience)
My life is filled with great plot twists
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And you're one of them.
I honestly thought it was a joke.
I thought I was a clown to think that I liked you.
I was in denial.
"You're only a friend".
"You're my crush.. As a friend".
I'd always joke about it.
It was an inside joke in our circle.
I never took it to heart.
But...
Is it weird?
Is it weird that these feelings I never took seriously were actually... Serious?
I never thought I would like you.
Sure.
You make me laugh.
You're smart.
I like being around you.
I think you're cute.
You were my ideal type.
But..
Is it weird?
Is it weird that you're my friend but my heart flutters seeing you?
Is it weird that I love saying your name?
Is it weird that I always hug you?
Everything you do just gives me butterflies and all this time I thought I just idolized you.
But...
You don't like me.
I've been confessing as a joke, which actually mirrors what I truly feel.
You keep rejecting me.
Why?
But somehow, I still like you.
You tell me how it would be so fucking impossible for you to like me back.
Why?
You say it's just not... possible.
That we just can't be.
That you can't even try.
That you can't even fathom the idea of us.
That you just can never see yourself with me.
You say you can never feel anything for me, even if you tried. Not physically, mentally, and even emotionally.
Why?
Do you not like me that much?
Am I that unlovable?
Do you... Hate me?
I was in denial.
I couldn't accept the fact that you wouldn't and couldn't love me even if you tried.
Then it clicked.
You like someone else.
You like.. Him.
Oh.
No wonder you can't like me back.
Not because I'm unlovable.
But because you're.....
Gay
Oh well.
I still like you, Yuri.
My heart still flutters whenever I see you.
I still admire you.
This is the first time I've ever felt this towards someone.
I feel so confused.
Why am I like this all of the sudden?
Is there a chance.. That... You'd change??
Is that probable?
I continue to hope..
At least we're still friends...
I'm not what you're looking for.
But...
For the mean time,
Is it weird that I still like you?
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GRAHHHHHH I LIKE HIM SO MUCH HUHUHU WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN BYE-😭
