My Favorite Mistake (Andley)

My heart slammed against my rib cage, painfully out of tempo. Through the ringing in my ears, I focused on CC murdering the drum kit to get myself back on track. Once I had the beat, I didn’t really need to concentrate. “Perfect Weapon” was ingrained in my head, we’d been playing it for so long. To my left, Jake and Jinxx were playing with their backs to each other, not noticing anything was wrong. CC...well, he wouldn’t notice if a plane crashed through the roof of the building and killed everyone but him. Andy was still singing, either oblivious to what had just occurred or pretending just as much as I was.

“Here’s to your Perfect Weapon
Crack bones with blind aggression
Like birds whose wings are broken
You live without direction”

I’d seen the frustrated look on his face during the first verse and known immediately what was happening. It occurred several times during rehearsals and once during soundcheck. Apparently they hadn’t fixed the problem. His mic had cut out, and the only feed he was getting through his earpiece was from my headset. He usually solved the problem by singing into my mic. I knew now not to back away like I did the first time, that after a few seconds his mic would come back on and he would step away. This time, he’d leaned a little too close.

Even though I was exceptionally good at lying to myself, there was no denying that, for the briefest second, his lips had brushed mine.

“Leave us alone!” the crowd screamed back at him in one voice. “You’re on your own!”

He didn’t scream onstage-it would permanently damage his vocal chords to do that almost every night for three months. It was something we’d had to keep in mind when constructing a setlist, and it meant leaving out most of the old songs. The crowd usually took care of the screaming for him anyway. He liked having a break, even a short one. It gave him time to catch his breath, to think. I wish I had that break, because I needed it.

I couldn’t stop my mind from rewinding and replaying that moment, over and over again. I could still feel the hand he’d let settle on my chest for a second, right over my unsteady heart.I could feel his warm breath fanning out over my face, could smell cigarettes and wine. I could still feel the slight shock of cold from his lip ring that snapped me back to reality. And the most terrifying thing...I wanted to feel it again.

“We are breathing while you’re sleeping
Go! and leave us alone
The lines cheated, our hearts beating
Go! and now you’re on your own”

We only had four songs left in the set, and then I could find some time to myself, get a drink and figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I could make it through four songs. Right?

~oOo~

"Woo!” CC yelled as we entered the dressing room. I’m not sure how he managed to stay so hyper. He was practically bouncing off the walls. “One show down...a lot to go!”

“You should probably focus on that second part.” Jinxx walked in behind him, rolling his eyes as he pulled his guitar strap off over his head and placed the guitar on a stand.

“But we finished a show!”

“But we’re still on tour for two months. Then we go to Europe.”

CC stuck his tongue out and slumped down on the couch. I chuckled to myself. I knew all that energy had to fade sometime.

“I’m hungry.” Jake set his guitar on a stand next to Jinxx’s. There was a third stand for my bass, which was still hanging on me, because I made no move to put it down. “Who wants pizza?”

“I DO!” CC jumped back up off the couch. I stand corrected.

“Is any pizza place even open this late?” For whatever reason, Andy was always the last one offstage. He uncapped a bottle of water and took a long drink. I couldn’t help but stare at the way his lips curled around it, pale and full. Suddenly I realized what I was doing and ripped my gaze away forcefully. What the hell was wrong with me?