Someone special

That bliss feeling I get when the blade presses into my skin. I feel free for a short time, until the realization of reality comes flooding back.

Being called a weirdo, freak, emo, loser, whore etc. everyday is not fun for me but it's what I have to go through.

My name is Alicia.

I have been bullied since kindergarten, and the haunting nightmare continues. When I was little, before the bullying started, I was a happy kid. I'd play with my older brother, jordan, and I loved helping my mom in the kitchen. You know normal stuff a four year old does. But for some reason I was different from other kids.

They thought I was a freak. I was weird.

My mom would always tell me it was because I was special, and the other kids were jealous. I knew that she was lying to me.

Since kindergarten I've only had three friends. Alex, Martin, and my brother Jordan. Most guys don't like me and most girls hate me. But Alex and Martin are my two best friends, they have always accepted me and they are a bunch of weirdos themselves. Jordan on the other hand, is my big bro, and he is awesome. He's four years older then me, but we've always got along, he's never been mean like some brothers are. He has always looked out for me and tries to protect me.

But in short I am a fifteen year old, with three friends (one being my brother) and I am depressed. I think that's a good description of my life, don't you?

Even though I'm depressed and all that other stuff goes on, I have my really good days, those days are when there's no school and no shit from the kids at school.

But today is not one of those day. I am currently stationed in the girls washroom, with a blade against my wrist. None of the girls will come in, because I'm in the washroom at the far end of the school, where there are no classes. So I shouldn't be bothered.

I've been in here for the past ten minutes, really just fighting with myself, which I do the majority of the day.

I figure that I should leave the washroom now, but it's not like anybody would notice if I didn't go to class, I mean except Alex, since he's in my English class.

Ah well time to leave, I can continue later. I put my blade in a little box I carry around in my bag. I wiped my cuts real quick, then put my bracelets over top so nobody notices. When they notice I have fresh cuts, the girls in my English class like to slap them, and make it hurt more. I don't want that to happen today.

I slowly opened the washroom door and slid out. I walked slowly, thinking about all the stuff that's wrong with my life.

I walked into english, sat in my usual spot in the back, next to Alex. The moment I sat down, I hid my arms in my sleeves. He have me a suspicious look. "Alicia? Why are you hiding your arms?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

Great he knows. Alex gets upset when I cut, he tells me not to hurt myself, I'm perfect, all that stuff. But I'm not perfect, I am the complete opposite.

"Well.... You see.. I, uh, I. Nothing" I say opening my copy of Romeo and Juliet. It is actually my first time reading Romeo and Juliet, I know the story line, but I've never seen any movie remakes, or read it.

"Alicia, I told you not to cut, you were doing good. How many times are you going to relapse?" He opened his book, I knew he was mad at me now. See when Alex is mad, he won't look you in the eye, he will look down or he'll have his hood up. Martin, and I have made him mad so many times we know the routine by now. But the thing with Alex is he can't stay mad for more then twenty minutes. It's quite funny.