NOT ROYALE ENOUGH [18+]

33

SARAH

“Sarah…”

“Yeah?” I blinked twice, staring at James through my phone, realizing this was the third time I had zoned out.

“You sure everything is alright?” His light brown eyes looked back at me, shadows of sadness clouding their usual warmth.

I cleared my throat, sitting up straighter, my gaze skimming across the garden I was sitting in before landing on the untouched mango drink Alfred had brought a few minutes ago.“I’m fine, just…”

“Not here.” He finished the sentence for me. I took a deep breath, forcing a slow smile to my lips, though it didn’t reach my eyes.

“I’m here,” I assured him, though even I could hear the hollow edge in my voice. “My mind has just been running wild ever since…”

“Ever since what?” he asked, leaning in as though trying to reach me across the screen.

Ever since that night. No matter how hard I tried to sleep away the memory of that moment with Chris, my heart and mind refused to let go of it. That night lingered like a haunting melody. I didn’t want to think of it, but I couldn’t stop. The longing stares he gave me under the moonlight—how even without music, the cool breeze seemed to hum a song just for us.

I hated this.

I hated how protective he had been when I accidentally broke the glass.

I hated the way he acted as though I belonged to him.

When he was promised to someone else.

But most of all, I hated how tenderly he kissed me, how I had almost broken down. And I hated how tempted I was to follow him to his room when I felt the heat spreading between my legs, consuming me whole.

“You zoned out again…” James sighed, his voice breaking through the haze, regret settling heavy in my chest.

I needed to focus on James. To remember that all of this—this charade—was for him. It had been a month and three weeks since I started living in this palace, and he had been asking nonstop when I could visit. I didn’t know how to tell him no without offering a solid reason. Lying to someone you love was so damn hard.

“Not zoning out, James,” I said quickly, forcing a lightness I didn’t feel. “Just thinking of a lie I’d tell my boss if he agreed to give me a vacation.”

His face instantly lit up, his white teeth shining as he grinned. “I’m sure he’ll agree. He has to. You’ve been there so long, and I miss you.”

“I miss you too, chap.” I smiled faintly.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you—the doctor came by a few days ago and said my hospital bills from before have been paid.”