It wasn't a too pleasant morning, his father wasn't home, Gaz had gotten mad about dying on her game slave and thrown a lamp at him. And all week at the skool they've been doing health class (pretty much just sex ed) for a select group. Mostly kids needing extra credit. But next week, they were off, so with high hopes of the sweet relief of spring break, Dib forced himself to put on a smile and head to class. I mean, what could go wrong?
When it came time for health, Dib walked a little slower. The only upside of the class was that Zim was there with him. It's not like he looked forward to seeing the invader, it's just that seeing Zim nearly puking up his guts, or what ever he had inside him, made it just a little more bearable. He didn't even know why Zim went. Dib had previously found out that the alien had already learned everything he could about the human body, including its reproductive actions.
Inside he sat down in the only available seat, next to Zim, who looked like he was about to fall asleep. Wig sliding of his head, "hey, wig's falling off, didn't you even put it on right this morning?" Zim pulled it tighter over his head. "Dude what happened?" They weren't exactly friends, but they were, I guess you could say, semi-friends. They did have a good conversation every now and then, but anything longer then 40 minutes and they were at each other's throats. But finally Zim replied,
"Gir had an Angry Monkey marathon last night, at full volume, in my room." He really did sound tired. His concern was cut of as- wait concern? No not concern per say- the teacher walked into the room. Pushing a cart ahead of him, he stopped at his desk, looking out at the room and grumbled something about needing more coffee. He pulled a bowl out of the cart,
"Okay class, our last lesson will be," he pulled something from the cart, "having a kid, designed to show you how awful it is. Two people in each group, the rules are you have to feed it, care for it, and waste your time with its very existence. Just like a real child, also you have to return it completely intact and unharmed to pass. It even has hearing sensors, so if you yell it will cry, the more it cries the worse the grade." It was kinda like a baby doll, except it had two big black buttons for eyes, had a small patch of yarn for hair, and looked hastily stitched together.
"Yes Doug?" Asked the teacher,
"How will our partners be chosen?" The teacher grasped the bowl from before,
"My son cut these out for me, so, because I could care less, but still want you unhappy, I'll draw two random names at a time,"
"But what if you pull two boy names? Or two girl names?" Continued Doug.
"Do you have something against same gender couples Doug?" Doug tried to speak. "Everyone, for the next 5 minutes lets all stare at Doug, you can glare, look, or watch, just make Doug feel uncomfortable, because we all don't like you Doug." (Comment below if you know the Doug I'm talkin' bout) So for the next 5 minutes everyone stared at Doug. After that the teacher continued, "okay, first is Tommy and Doug, actually, lets find Tommy someone else. Doug will do this project alone. Samantha, Tommy and Samantha, next is... Claire and Amy. Oh yes, after I call your name, come up and get your 'child', along with the full assignment."
The names droned on and Dib was only half listening for his name, he looked over at Zim who was staring blankly ahead. "Dib," he looked up as the teacher pulled the second name out of the bowl, "and Zim." Dib, who at that moment, was sitting mouth agape in surprise, watched as Zim got up and picked a doll out of the cart. The bell ringed and the whole class cheered, basically trampling each other to get out, the two boys excluded. Dib got his things together and practically ran to his locker. Zim trailed behind him,
"So Dib-human, where would you like to work at? Although I warn you that Gir has been cooking dinner lately, and trying out some 'original' recipes." Dib shuddered,
"Alright lets go to my house, but lets try to be quick, I want to get this done and over with." They both walked out of the doors to the skool, not even to the sidewalk when Dib noticed something. "Don't you need to put away your books?" Zim shook his head, "No, I carry them with me all day." Dib looked a bit surprised, "but doesn't that weigh a ton? How could you lug that around all day?" Zim shrugged and started walking again.
"I guess it doesn't weigh that much to me, it is a requirement and through artificial genetic processing that Irkens are strong. We all have to if we're going to fight battles and concur planets." Dib almost laughed at the irony of that. They walked down to Dib's house, Zim in the lead. Once inside, Dib hurried to his room, Zim following close behind, up in his room Dib kicked off his shoes and sat in the chair next to his desk.
Across from him he sat on his bed, the alien looked briefly about the room, taking in the alien, big foot, and other ridiculous posters. I mean, he didn't really look like that did he? Dib spoke up and asked him to get out the information about their project from his backpack. When he was handed the paper he read with a grimace.
NAMES: DATE:
CHILD NAME: CHILD GENDER:
SPOUSE 1 JOB: SPOUSE 2 JOB:
FAMILY BACKGROUND:
CHILD'S INFORMATION:
AMOUNT OF MISERY DURING ASSIGNMENT:
Why oh why did he have to be paired with Zim?
YOU ARE READING
Health class project
FanfictionHe hated this, hated it more than anything. Why did it have to be him, why did he have to be paired with Zim?- ZADR, haters gonna hate!
