Chapter 1

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Coming out of the Holmes Chapel’s train station, Harry feels 18 all over again. It’s the same lady at the reception, same old man at the newspaper stand and the same faces going to work.

The train station’s sign is still red and missing the T.  No one in town minded, many tears were shed in that place so Rain station sounded just right.

 The Christmas tree still stands in September welcoming Harry home like it sent him away one August night.

Nothing changed neither did Harry, his hair is still curly, his eyes are still green, it’s the same suitcase that he packed when he went to London for school. Everything is the same except the 5 year old he carries in his arms.

The house wasn’t okay at all. There was not other house near the daycare to buy or rent, so Harry had no choice. He wasn’t sure how long can he be in this house before he suffocates to death. There are so many dreams and hopes haunting these walls.  When he looks at the fireplace, he sees a photo that isn’t there but it’s sort of is because 6 years ago they agreed that it would be nice hanged above it. The walls of the living room aren’t painted minty like they said it should after 7 hours of bickering about it. Harry sleeps in Darcy’s room that night, because if the living room is sending him on a rollercoaster ride, he doesn’t dare take a step into the master bedroom.

Harry prays that he wont see anyone family or friends the next day. He isn’t ready yet, especially to seehim. He would lock himself up in this house if he could. He did yesterday, but he ought to feed Darcy.

He starts the day early in hope of not running into anyone he knows and it works till he is in the cereal ally. Darcy is somewhere deciding on flavored yogurt. Letting her stray 5 feet away from him is something that he’d never allow back in London. Holmes Chapel is safe and maybe he made the right decision coming back after all.   

There are so many memories wherever his eyes lands. Even picking cereals is difficult. He stands there almost reaching for the wrong one, even if it feels so right. Harry never liked it, but he did so Harry was so used to buying the small packs with his allowance as a treat for him.

“Is this the one you want beautiful?”

Harry’s stomach flips.

He knew this place would bring back memories but not this clear. He shouldn’t sound like he is whispering in his ears. It’s too sudden. He isn’t ready. He needs to settle in before facing the past. But then he realizes that the voice is clear because he is not imagining it.

“Here you go. Are you here alone? This early in the morning?” The voice asks concerned and Harry’s breath is caught in his throat. Darcy doesn’t say anything. He taught her well about not speaking to strangers.

The voice softens and Harry’s heart is a whole new level of mess. “You know, she reminds me of someone.”  There is some much warmth in that statement. “ Those eyes. . they just. . she is really beautiful isn’t she?”

Harry leans back resting his weight on shelves’ of tea boxes. He didn’t see him yet and he is already a wreck. “Not as beautiful as you are” another man speaks and Harry stiffens.

“Not in front of the kid!” there is the familiar giggle that breaks Harry’s heart.

 *

Later that day, Harry calls his mother to apologize for not coming over. He sort of hints that she should come over herself to check the house, help unpacking and see her granddaughter. His mother makes a comment about canceling with Jay and Harry is glad. He canceled, because he isn’t ready to see Jay yet. There is plenty to do. There is a lot of unpacking and a lot of emotions that he has to sort out.

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