Last Seen In San Francisco (Tony Perry)

• There's Nowhere To Run When You Run From Yourself •

{ t w e n t y }

He wasn't exactly hard to find, we got out of the elevator and he was just stood at the front desk, Joshua wasn't there though so he just stood there, looking at the wood of the desk with a cute butt-hurt frown on his face.

"Tony?" I asked when I got to him, feeling Madison bump into me but then step next to me.

He looked up at me and I notice his whole demeanour change. His body went rigid, and then his face went scarily blank. He just stared at me, and it was like he wasn't even there; like he was physically but that was it.

"Yes?" He finally spoke, his voice void of any emotion whatsoever. I knew it before, but now it's just more prominent; I've fucked up. The evidence is staring me in the face right now, refusing to give me eye contact.

This building has a lot of rooms, and I motioned for him to follow me to one of them. Thankfully, it was empty when I stepped inside, pulling Madison in with me and sitting her against the wall.

"Sit down." I told him, and hesitantly he sat, right opposite her and just stared at her. Slowly, the emotions came back to him and his small smile came back.

"Remember what I told you in the car sweetie? This is him; Tony." I explained to Maddie, sitting a little bit away from them but close enough to see the way Tony's lips lifted a little bit more.

"My dad?" I cringed at word but none of them took notice. When she noticed I didn't reply she looked at me and I just nodded with a tight lipped smile. They hit it off straight away, like she usually does with everyone she meets.

I couldn't help but think about the word. Dad. Sure, he's her father, the one who did help make her, but he hasn't raised her, he hasn't done everything for her for the past 6 years and he immediately gets that title; a title that is one of the biggest in a girls life.

You didn't exactly give him a chance to be there, Lydia.

Almost like gunshots the thought came into my mind. I really thought about it, and I can actually distinctly remember promising him that no matter what happened between the two of us, I would always let him meet the baby, and be there for it, and now look at it.

More than 6 years later, and he's meeting her for the first time right in front of my eyes. He must hate me; I would. If the roles were reversed and I'd had that promise broken I'd have so much hate pent up inside of me. I'm surprised Tony hasn't completely exploded on me yet. He did shout at me, but it wasn't much, it was far from what you'd expect.

I never used to be the one who fucked up, I was the victim, I was the one who tried to pull things back together. But when I finally give up and they come back into my life, I'm the bad guy. Maybe Tony Perry isn't the problem anymore.

Was Tony even the problem in the first place?

Yes, definitely. I can't second guess myself on that one, the things he did are all out there in the past, I just ran away to try and get over them. I did until lately. Memory's and flashbacks are coming back, and I'm falling straight back into the lifestyle of them.

"What are you doing to me, Tony." I sighed to myself, not realising that I'd even said it out loud until I felt my lips move. He didn't hear me anyway, too busy laughing and smiling with my- our daughter. Who would have seen the day Tony and I actually met again.

His full blown smile was out now, perfect teeth on view and the dips in his cheeks showing. He bashfully looked down to the floor and then back up at her, shaking his head. I felt myself smiling back at him, aware of the fact that he was paying 0 attention to me. It didn't bother me.

"Yeah, you'll have to meet her! Mikey thinks she's pretty!" My smile died and Tony's visibly lessened as Maddie spoke animatedly about her doll Molly, finally bringing up the dreaded topic of Mike. She carried on speaking unaware of the layer of awkward atmosphere that fell over us. I wish I could jugs move away all over again, and again, and again, until I've been everywhere in the world, and not had to have this feeling of...just being done, being disappointed in myself, knowing that I've messed so much up.

Looking at Madison and her father, it dawned on me that not only have I screwed this up for Tony, but for my own little girl. I can tell she's getting along with him, hell she'll like him as much as mike soon, and I've kept her own father away from her because of my own stupid grudge.

To think, everything used to be so perfect before Pierce The Veil got signed again.

Maybe it wasn't a blessing like I thought at first, we all thought, maybe it was actually a curse in disguise, and maybe if I'd paid attention to all the signs, I'd have seen this whole thing coming.

Maybe I could've stopped all of this from happening.