The Sadness With The Light Of Hope

Reflections of Ordinary

I am ordinary,
Not the special one,
Not the one anyone dreams of.
Why would they choose me?
I am without talent,
Without purpose,
A hollow shell, unseen.
Just another passing shadow.
I am ordinary.

I see it clearly now,
Why they slip away,
Why their smiles fade,
And their steps grow distant.
Leaving me with nothing but cold, aching silence.
Maybe it’s because I’m ordinary,
A mere ripple in the vast ocean,
Just another forgotten stone,
Unnoticed, uncherished.

I understand now,
Why their eyes never meet mine,
Why their ears close to my voice,
Why they no longer wait for me to speak.
Why I am lost from their thoughts,
Why I never linger in their hearts.
I get it.
I am just ordinary.
They will adore the rose,
The extraordinary bloom,
But never see the withering stem,
The unnoticed, the forgotten.

I feel as though I have nothing left to give,
No warmth to offer,
No light to shine in their darkness,
No reason for anyone to stay.
Why should I blame them for walking away?
My heart, this fragile, ordinary heart,
Carries it all, yet breaks in silence,
Unseen, unheard.

I wonder sometimes,
If only I were beautiful enough,
If only I had a gift that could stun,
If only I were clever enough,
Would they see me then?
Would they hold me like a precious gem,
Would they look at me and finally see I matter?
Would I ever be worthy?

Year after year,
This loneliness thickens,
A cloud that swallows my soul,
Drowning me in a sea of self-doubt.
Mourning the girl who never stood out,
The girl whose love was never enough to be seen.
I mourn the dreams that will never bloom,
The love that will never touch my heart.
But now, it’s clear.
I am ordinary.
And maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.
I don’t need to change.
I don’t need to be perfect.
But oh, how I long to be something more,
Something other than this empty, ordinary shell.

Only if I had been more,
More than this forgotten soul.
Maybe then, someone would care.
But it’s too late to wish.
I am just ordinary,
And no one will ever love me for it.

I fear the reflection that stares back at me,
The ordinary me.