When your lost you can always be found

"Yeah, I get it, I'm a sexy beast"

This week had gone by fast. We helped out at an orphanage and my group finally got to go to Bethlehem. I even got better at attending Church services. Pastor John was helping me with my problem, he knew the reason I stopped believing. Every night he would come to talk and pray with me. We talked about how I felt when I was with my brother, did I have enough faith? Sometimes I could handle it, other times it made me want to go crazy so I went to see Ravi. We hooked up a few times, he tried to push himself on me but I stopped him. Wow, that's like an accomplisemnt for me. Go ahead and clap, and yes I'm bowing.

We hung out every day when I had free time. Once I even asked him to come to the Church service with me, but he declined giving me a weird look.

At times, I would need a drink. I was constantly having withdrawals but usually hid in my room when that happened.

Zain called me every other day to see how I was coping. He was really surprised and kept telling me how proud he was and how much my parents missed me.

He told me that thy wanted to talk to me. But I never answered my phone, I would call them when I was ready.

Zain also told me that at Coles funeral, his (Coles) mother threw a fit when the band showed up. She was screaming and shouting curses at them. She even got thrown out of the church and ha to watch from the door where she kept muttering "throwing his own mother out, they're the demons, think they're a band...bunch if idiots..." Apparently she even asked for that "idiot girl". I was touched.

Troy had been keeping his distance lately so today I decided to hang with him. It was our first free Saturday.

I get up and take a shower planning on waking Troy up. It was already almost twelve. When I get out of the shower I hear...

"I'm gonna pop some tags

Only got twenty dollars in my pocket

I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up..."

Uggh, who's calling me at this time? Man I should really change that ringtone. I don't know how Pastor John would feel if he heard 'Thrift Shop'.

-Hey, party tonight, you and me.-

What the hell? Ravi wanted me to go to a party with him? I wonder what kind of parties they had here.

-Sorry, can't, busy today.-

-Lunch?-

-I really can't-

-Whatever-

Was he mad? Oh well. I run over to Troy's side of the room and started to jump on his bed.

"Wake up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!"

He groans and rolls over. Mission accomplished.

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Troy and I walked to some nearby stores to get souvenirs. We had decided to get a souvenir each week we were here.

"How about this?" I held up a Israeli flag, I was still trying to get him to talk to me. He just shrugged and walked down further to look at the paintings or maybe to get away from me.

I follow him and grab his wrist.

"Come on, you must be hungry." I drag him to the only place I knew, there were a few kids sitting around. Some that knew me from Ravi acknowledge me sizing up Troy.

We sit in an awkward silence.

"Troy..." I didnt know what to say.

"Isabella."

It upset me that he called me Isabella instead of 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous'.

"You've been avoiding me." I finally let it out.

"So you miss me?"

"What?! No, I-"

"I think you like me." He notes. "I knew it!"

"No." I said regaining my composure. "I missed bugging you."

"Whatever. I know you think I'm beautiful, you talk in your sleep."

"Really?" I wondered aloud.

"No." He sounded disappointed.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I do think you're pretty."

"Just pretty?" he countered.

"Yup." I replied, popping the pee. "You'd be beautiful if you didn't have such a big head."

"Whatever." He said.

I laugh, he is smirking now and I am glad to see his smirk was back. Oops, spoke too soon. I turn around to see what he was glaring at.

Standing in the doorway was Ravi.

He strolls over to us with a blank face.

"So you blow me off for this?"he demands.

"I can have other friends." I declared. Not looking up from my drink

"Yeah." Troy says, standing, fists clenched.

"You tired of me?" Ravi is talking to me again.

"No," I say "Like I said, I'm allowed to hang out with other people"

"You insult me in my uncle place?" Troy snickers at Ravi's bad English and I shoot him a look. He ignores me and turns to Ravi.

"Look, dude, we're leaving in two and a half weeks, she was never yours anyway."

What the hell? Before Ravi can answer I stand up.

"I can hang out with whoever the hell I want because I own this body, so back of before you get hurt." I warned

Then Troy.

"And you," I jab him in the chest. "you can't tell me who I belong to, you dont know me, and nobody wants your sorry a** so f*** off!"

I hoped that distressed his ego.

I storm out, just noticing how quiet it had been in there.

I walk in the direction of the hotel. I hear footsteps behind me and turn to confront my stalker.

"Look, Isabella, I am sorry, I just got little jealous."

Ravi.

"A little?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Yeah," he answers, wrapping me in a hug and kissing me. I cant help but give in. He takes my hand and we walk. By the route, I know we are going to his house. He had brought me here a couple times. We head upstairs into his room.

He starts kissing me everywhere, and touching me. I love it but it still makes me think of Cole who is no longer living.

Ravi slides off his shirt and starts kissing me again. I feel his hands inch up my shirt as he slips it off. Only breaking the kiss for a second. When he tries to go for my pants I sit up.

"Sorry, Ravi, I can't."

A flash of anger flickers across his face so fast I wonder if I was imaging things.

"It is okay," he says. He lays next to me and just holds me there.

A few hours later (I'm guessing) I feel someone shaking my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Ravi's face hovering over mine. He presses his lips to mine.

"Get dressed." he says.

"For what?"

An hour later I was showered and wearing a very revealing black dress. Ravi's sister had gotten home during my "nap" and let me borrow it. I meet Ravi at the door.

His eyes go wide and he looks me up and down. I don't blush I'm used to it by now.

"Let's go," I say, thinking he'll never get out of his daze.

"You look-"

"Yeah, I get it, I'm a sexy beast. Let's go."

I push him out the door and into the dark night.